OK....Maybe not this jersey... *shudders*

Morning everyone. So I thought about this while at the gym this morning…. Remember growing up and seeing players you loved actually stay with the team that drafted them throughout their career? Me neither. And it’s kind of tragic really. There are dozens of factors for why it happens these days. Most of them financially driven. Others are stars that just want help and aren’t getting it where they are and go elsewhere. And I’m not even talking about the athletes that stick around for a season or two too long in another team’s jersey. I’m talking about the people in the prime of their careers doing it. We’re seeing a rash of those these days. Baseball and basketball see this the most. Our parents and we grew up seeing Willis Reed and Patrick Ewing the Knicks, Larry Bird Kevin McHale the Celtics, MJ the Bull, Magic and Worthy the Lakers, Hakeem and Calvin Murphy the Rockets, Ozzie Smith the Cardinal, Carl Yastrzemski and Ted Williams and Nomar the Red Sox, Johnny Unitas the Colt, Joe Namath the Jet, John Elway the Bronco, and so on and so forth. Now we get a pocket of those athletes on a few teams in all the sports. And I’ll never judge a person for their want at a payday or their pursuit for a championship…. It’s just a shame that sports can’t be about the essential rule that we’ve all heard a billion times over the course of playing or watching sports… The name on the front of the jersey is more important than the one on the back. I want to take a moment and talk about a few of those current day players that still fit under the premise of this blog.

NBA

Kobe Bryant

Yeah, I went there.

Ok so I hate Kobe the person. I was with #TeamShaq when the drama was going down in the City of Angels. But there it is undeniable the kind of absolute baller this guy is. A ruthless killer on the court. He will more than likely retire a Laker.

Dirk Nowitzki 

It is widely known that I hate all things Dallas sports. That aside, Dirk is the picture of NBA great player consistency and will be a Maverick forever. There Dallas, you got a compliment. Now expect the apocalypse tomorrow.

Paul Pierce

Wheelchair Paul Pierce…. The guy is a Celtic through and through. While he got help from Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett to get his ring, he won’t be changing his jersey affiliation.

MLB

Albert Pujols

LMAO. Sucks, don’t it Cardinals fans?

Derek Jeter

#2, Derek Jeter. I hate the Yankees. Despise them. But if you hate Derek Jeter, you need help. Gift baskets aside, easily one of the best ball players I’ve had the fortune of watching play. The Captain will be a Yankee forever.

I might be making a leap into believing these next players will but I strongly think it’s the case….

Joe Mauer

MAUER POWER!!! The great catcher from the Minnesota Twins. He’s battled injuries the last few seasons, but this guy isn’t going anywhere any time soon.

Tim Lincecum

The pitching hippie. It’s early on, but this guy should do nothing but pitch in the bay for the San Francisco Giants for the entirety of his career.

NFL

Ray Lewis

Ray Lewis has been the linchpin that has kept the Ravens Defense together the last 10+ years. He is what every middle linebacker hopes to become. Having probably 2 years max left, Ray Ray ain’t going nowhere.

Eli Manning

Looking like more of a sure bet to stay with his team than his older bro, Peyton, Eli has won 2 rings for the G-MEN! Even in New York, that kind of success speaks volumes for one’s staying power.

Andre Johnson

Oh, so you thought I’d do an entire list of players and not try to sneak one of my players from my teams into it? C’MON MAN! Andre Johnson. The man is the Houston Texans franchise. No one has put up with the losing as much as this guy and he’s finally being rewarded for it.Here’s hoping that he retires in the blue and white. Hopefully we can go out and get him a ring next year. #BullsOnParade

Thanks as always for reading guys. I should have another submission up and ready for you guys next week.

-The Big Socrates

Am I the only one still replaying Whitney’s Funeral (1) in my head? I honestly can’t think of a time when I have been so moved by a service in which I wasn’t actually in attendance. Cissy Houston really did take the world to church on Saturday…for 3 and a half hours. I’ve heard quite a few comparisons to MJ’s “funeral”, but that wasn’t the same. That was more of a concert whereas this was a homegoing service. I’m not the biggest Tyler Perry fan by any means, but his remarks certainly set the scene. I was also deeply moved by what Kevin Costner said. He gave us a glimpse of Whitney no one else could. Finally, when the paulbearers literally carried Whitney out on their shoulders to “I Will Always Love You”, I had to turn the TV off. My prayers are still with the family, but I was so impressed by and thankful for such a wonderful service.

Is anyone else sick of Linsanity (2)? I’m over the Tebow comparisons; I’m tired of the racial under/overtones in play here; and I’ve had enough of the endless coverage. I appreciate the underdog story, and I’m happy for Lin’s success, but when is enough enough? That leads me to NBA All-Star Weekend (3). I used to live in Orlando, so part of me hates missing all the pomp and circumstance surrounding the event, but the other part of me is glad I’m not there. I’m still debating whether or not I’m going to watch the game. This NBA season has failed to impress me. I’ve been to a few games this season, and I honestly feel like the level of play is sloppy and sub-par. I realize the lockout has a lot to do with this, but something is missing. I can’t quite put my finger on what it is exactly. The NBA has some of the better all-star festivities, but I’m not excited like I usually am. Jemele Hill made some great points about the Slam Dunk Contest and its irrelevance as well. I’m in concurrence.

As usual, I was on Twitter the other night, and suddenly, my timeline was littered with Rihanna & Chris Brown (4) putrescence. The two have conspired to appear on each other’s singles (“Cake (Remix)” and “Turn the Music Up (Remix)“. This madness ensued on RiRi’s birthday, no less. *sigh* We talked about these two ad nauseum over on the Thread, and the feeling of disappointment was overwhelming. Here’s a young lady who was the posterwoman for domestic violence and resilience. She was a role model for women everywhere who have been through domestic violence and did not tolerate it. Now everything is cool? I’m all for forgiveness, but something just isn’t right about this situation. In other news, Elizabeth Smart (5) tied the knot last weekend in a secret wedding. I’m really happy for her and glad she was able to put something so horrid behind her. Best wishes to her and her husband.

On Tuesday, I heard some startling and depressing news involving the make up of America’s teachers. Black males make up less than 2% of all American teachers (6). I knew it was a problem, but I didn’t know it was so dire. When I think about it, I didn’t have a black male leading a class of mine until I was a sophomore in college. Hopefully, more black males (myself included) eventually step up and become teachers of our youth. Lord knows they (we) are needed. With college now on my mind, I can’t help but be upset and disappointed by what happened at TCU (7) last week. I was really happy for and excited about the direction of their athletic program as well as the school itself. I realize that the drug bust went beyond just the football team, but a school’s football team is essentially that institution’s front porch. TCU is a scapegoat in all this, though. That drug bust could have happened anywhere. If you think your school doesn’t have some kind of drug problem, I question if you really went there. My hope is that TCU is able to rebound from this.

My beloved alma mater, The University of Texas (8), is back in the news. Stop me when you’ve heard any of this before. The Supreme Court has decided to hear a case with The University of Texas involved. Do I need to stop? It involves affirmative action with regards to admissions. Now? Okay, I will. I’m sick of this already because we’ve heard it before with the Hopwood decision. I’ll say that the state of Texas has a serious problem. Its flagship school continues to have admissions issues. Quite honestly, I don’t know how the state goes about fixing it. Is there a racial problem? I’d say so. Texas’ goal is for UT to mirror the state’s demographics racially. It’s failing to do so. Blacks make up 11.8% of the state’s population, but only 5.6% of the incoming class. Latinos make up 37.6% of the state’s population, but only 23.1% of this class. Meanwhile, Asians only account for 3.8% of the population, but make up 20% of the 2011 freshman class. I honestly don’t know what lawmakers and the administration should do. Personally, I think part of the problem is the fact that the state doesn’t have enough flagship schools to serve such a huge population. Things will certainly get interesting. Stay tuned.

I see that racism has reared its ugly head in Gainesville, Florida after some young ladies went on a 14-minute tirade on YouTube (9) oozing with bigotry. If you can sit through the idiocy, click here and scroll to the bottom. I’m disgusted and don’t have anything else to say about such balderdash. As much as I hate that video, it’s free. That’s something I can’t say about what comes out of Hollywood (10). Aside from Red Tails, I have refused to go to the movies. Movie ticket prices are at an all-time high, and I’d rather chill at home and make it a Blockbuster Red Box night with my 42-inch LED, blu-ray, and surround sound. There just isn’t enough reason or payoff for me to spend $25 on a date to see a movie. The last few times I’ve gone to the movies, I may or may not have movie hopped. Don’t tell anyone I told you that.

"Stand up and tell 'em, 'I will not be a prisoner to your foolishness!'" -Rollo Goodlove, The Boondocks

Who’s watching the Oscars (11) this weekend? Anyone? I genuinely have no desire to see it, and after the Grammys (12), I won’t be sitting through another awards show any time soon. Nicki Minaj and her antics were enough to…REDACTED. I’m hoping that Leonardo DiCaprio walks away with something this weekend, though. J. Edgar (a possible casualty of said hypothetical movie hopping…catch me if you can) wasn’t the best movie he’s been in, but he did a great acting job like he usually does.

Finally, in honor of Black History Month (13), I’d like to acknowledge and pay homage to W.E.B. Du Bois. On this day in 1868, the eventual co-founder of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) was born. He was also the first African American to earn a doctorate from Harvard and published The Souls of Black Folk. If you haven’t read it, do yourself a favor and do so.

W.E.B. Du Bois, as drawn by our own, Justin C. Iglehart

-23

I would first like to thank my #ThreadFam for coming to the wedding in such depthness (made it up, rock with it). I was so happy to see all of you and ya’ll definitely helped to keep the party going!! LOVE.

Alright, so here is the backstory. My husband and I spent about 2 months confirming the date because we really wanted to do it at a good time. We soon found that there was no good time, so we went with our hearts. We also wanted to do the entire wedding with no debt, even though we are both law students and knew we would be shouldering most of the financial burden. Around the time we were really ramping up the planning (i.e. starting to pay for stuff), my boss told me that he didn’t need a law clerk anymore. So, yeah. That’s where the hard part came in because we also didn’t want to miss out on people because of the cost. Although, our original guest list was 500, so we had to do some cutting anyway. Also, we had to choose cheaper food, so that we could invite who we wanted. Hence, serving BBQ at a January wedding (took me at least 4 months to say yes to this).  Meager funds + Large Guest List + Family and Friends Support + God=Miracle!

So here are the TOP 10 THINGS I LEARNED:

10. I know that a lot of people do pre-marital counseling, but we actually chose pre-engagement instead. It’s the exact same material as pre-marital, but it helped us to know if we should even be continuing a relationship at all. Our counselors told us that they had decided to have this because they found that people would do pre-marital after they were already engaged, had paid for stuff and their family was involved. People might find huge red flags, but continue anyway. Then, they would be seeking counseling through a divorce a few years later. Pre-engagement gives you the opportunity to just break up. We also joined a marriage group at our church after we were engaged, which helped tremendously!! There were couples ranging from 1 month of marriage to 20+ years in that group. We learned and grew so much and we still go every other Friday. This is probably already obvious, but we took marriage very very seriously and although people say “you’re never really ready”, we wanted to be as ready as possible.

9. Venues are FUN-snatchers!! I think this is extremely egregious given the fact that venues charge $2-5K just to use their 4 walls for 6-8 hours. For example, I really wanted to have a smore’s bar like the one in the picture below. My venue wouldn’t let me because of the open flame. BOOOO!!! So I had to turn all the smores we bought into party favors. So anti-climatic (see 2nd pic below).

8. Traditions only matter if you let them. We did a lot of traditional stuff like jumping the broom, my dad walked me down the aisle and we had a first dance. However, we did other things that weren’t traditional, but were a big part of who were are. For example, we wanted to find a way to give back on our wedding day, so we wore TOMs. My husband also didn’t wear a tuxedo. He wore grey suit pants and a two tone grey blazer, which I loved. Quite simply, DO YOU!!

7. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT, pay full price for ANYTHING. NOTHING. We did not have one thing at the wedding that we did not get a discount on. Now, my husband has no problem asking for discounts and I hate doing it. Therefore, he handled most of the contracts. It was amazing to me to see how people would easily come down if they thought you would walk away. We literally got at least 25% off everything including my wedding dress (My dress was not on sale. I simply asked if it could be.).

6. Non-negotiables are important and they don’t have to make sense. For example, my non-negotiable was that I wanted navy tablecloths. I cut money from other stuff to have them and I am so glad I did!! It mattered to me, so I didn’t care if it made sense. After cutting other stuff (i.e. the candy bar, grooms cake (he didn’t want one), cheaper flowers), my tablecloths were Navy.

5. Deciding on the wedding party can be a lifechanging event if you have 5 best friends and 4 sisters. Yeah, it was quite difficult and took me about 6 months. There’s that. I chose to have people who represented different stages in my life and I explained to the others why I had to go with a certain number. Real friends won’t care…plus they save money. Being a bridesmaid isn’t cheap.

4. Crying over sticking to the budget during the planning process will bring lots of smiles later. I have to give huge props to my husband on this one. We both agreed to do this wedding with no debt. Then, I lost my will and wanted to put stuff on credit cards that I just absolutely NEEDED (I blame pinterest). He stuck to his guns though and the week after the wedding I appreciated it so much. There was nothing to pay, we were married and the wedding was beautiful!! Imagine that!

3. DIY helped me utilize my creative juices (law school tried to snuff them out) and personalize things by making them more “us”. I actually designed our invitations, programs, the frosted glasses and thank yous that were on every table. That was one of the funnest parts of the planning process for me!

2. Despite what all the reports may say about marriage, people still believe in it and love and wanted to help. The hardest part for me was letting them…humility grew a lot during this time. People were more good to us than we ever thought possible or deserved. Seriously, we were blessed to both live with separate families rent free (we chose not to live together), people flat out covered certain parts completely (like the rehearsal dinner, tablecloths and a lot of the accessories were gifted to us) and people cut checks. Frankly, the day would not have happened without other people’s help. Amazing!!

1. We ENJOYED each other! I hear so many people say that they hate each other in the planning process. I wanted to be very intentional about enjoying the process. I think you have to try really hard not to get so bogged down in the details that you forget the big picture. We had so many memories from seeing a rat at a potential wedding venue (crossed that one off the list) to dancing on the stage of the one we eventually picked to attending the Bridal Extravaganza and watching my husband display his master negotiation skills to praying for a way to pay for it all! In the times when it was stressful, I tried very hard (sometimes to no avail) to stay focused on love.

REGRETS: I really wish we had gone with the hor’ dourves while the room was being flipped. The room flip had to happen because the ceremony and reception happened in the same room. I wish we had stuck with our first mind and offered something during that period, but we were under the impression that it would only take 20 minutes and there wouldn’t be time for that. I think it would have been more enjoyable for our guests.

I also wish I had gotten more pictures with my family and spent more time on the dance floor. I actually didn’t even know how much dancing took place until I saw the pictures. Those are things that cannot be recreated, so I wish I had been sure to do those 2 things.

BONUS:

In my first month of marriage I have learned a great deal! My favorite part is the coming together as one. It just kind of happened organically, but the connection is deep and evident. We laugh a lot, say what the other is thinking, pray together and say tons without saying anything. I know that sounds like a cheesy romantic comedy starring Jennifer Aniston, but it’s real life. I cannot describe it as anything other than a spiritual connection that makes everything else matter a whole lot less. No matter what happens in my day or how bleak things look, I feel immensely secure in the fact that I’m doing life with someone who will be there no matter what. It’s quite simple actually. Love, period. Everything else is just details.

Cliffs’ Notes
5 reasons Valentine’s Day sucks:
1. It is a convoluted and sexist holiday built on the back of capitalism
2. Too much pressure (generally on the man)
3. Too much emphasis placed on one day
4. It’s a polarizing day
5. “The by-product of Reason 1 is glorified prostitution.”

There you have it, folks. My bold, brazen, and brash views on Valentine’s Day……………..in 2011. It’s 2012 now, and the world may very well be coming to an end because I honestly don’t feel that way anymore. I looked back at that post a few weeks ago and cringed. Reading between the lines of the very thing I wrote revealed a bitter person in 2011. I’d like to think I’ve grown up a bit since then.

Now, to my single people, don’t think I’ve just gone off and abandoned you. No, I still think Valentine’s Day is extremely superficial, polarizing, and we all might be better off without it. I’m simply saying that I’ve been rehabilitated. My utter disdain and loathing of February 14 just isn’t there anymore. I went out of my way to proclaim how much I hated it. I offended people…on purpose. I came up with theories worthy of a dissertation specifically outlining why Valentine’s Day was God-awful. Hell, I wore straight black on V-Day last year (black suit, black shirt, black tie, black shoes, black watch)…to prove an eventual moot point.

At the end of the day, all the reactive convictions I had toward V-Day did nothing but make me feel worse and expose me. Now I didn’t go into Hallmark this year and try to make up for lost time by buying up any and everything red, white, or pink. I didn’t go to every neighborhood florist and buy up their supply of efflorescence. I didn’t go to the grocery store and tithe to Russel Stover. I’m still in remission over here. I’ll just say that I’ve come a very long way in a year.

-23

Him and Bill Cosby the only non-cussing comedians I like.

Christian Comedy Shows – Who decided this was a good idea? I don’t need judgement with my laughter. There are two kinds of Christian comedy shows; ones where they talk about church stuff which is stretching one bit of material too far. I don’t need scripture in my comedy. The only people who enjoy christian comedy shows are the people who are too old to remember what real comedy sounds like are those people you knew in college who beat you over the head with the bible when you got drunk. The other kind of christian comedy shows are the ones where they talk about what they did “before they got saved” which is a regular comedy show without cursing, you’re not Sinbad. Fxck that shxt.

People with Jeans & Tucked In Dress Shirts – Cliche’ maybe, baffling totally. Who’s forcing people to tuck their shirts into their jeans? Do people think it’s classier? You look like the kid who played by all the rules in high school. Nobody likes that guy. Ladies does the tucked in shirt turn you on? Why Jordan why?

The Guy Who Stares While You Dance with His Friend - Alright you’re trapped in the friend zone, I get it I don’t need the thousand yard stare I’m not going anywhere, I’m dancing. You need to get some male friends to tell you to stop being all puppy dog. You know she’s doing this on purpose right? “Yeah girl Ricky think he’s going to get with me but he’s just too nice, I’m a let him know though. He’s still going to help me move tomorrow, watch.”

You when you flirt in front of your man

The Girl Who Stares at You While She’s Talking to Her Boyfriend – You’re the reason dude’s react to every other male like he’s a wolf who must protect his territory. I clearly see you talking with your man. I subscribe to the André 3K school of “I don’t take nobody (chick) and I never owned a Jakob”. You thrive off of drama and jealousy. Like the plant in the “Little Shop of Horrors“, this totally disrespectful stare might as well say “feed me Seymour”.  You’re bad candy babe, bad candy.

The Trailer for Things That Don’t Need A Trailer – So you’re putting out a thirty  minute trailer for a three-minute video because the demand for content is just that high. We have more content then we’ve ever needed. It’s not just rappers either there was a preview for a Super Bowl commercial, a commercial for a commercial, ridiculous!

The McDonald’s Breakfast TimeLimit – Why must I rush to get a sausage biscuit on Saturday? Jack In The Box doesn’t pull this crap and that’s why stoner

Eat this shxt whenever you like

everywhere love Jack in the Crack. I want sausage biscuits all day everyday my heart can take it.

Related articles

• Reflections of a once discouraged Black Man that can’t get into “certain” clubs (threaders.wordpress.com)

So…I promised you guys a blog that would discuss the Texans and Niners seasons ended, but after the Niners loss… I didn’t have any initiative whatsoever to write anything. Sorry, grieving fan. So now I have the wherewithal to actually write/finish it. So without further adieu….. Here’s the rundown….

*Then it’s gotten so late after the fact, I thought of just trashing this thing… Then I saw Bill Simmons article about him questioning “Why does this (sports) matter so much?” So I have to finish this thing.

In the last 2 weeks, my fandom, and really my love for sports in general, has been totally tested. Fandom is something we all take pride in. It’s something unique to all of us. All of us don’t root for the same teams. That’s what makes it so great. the diversity. The other portion to that is how we decide to celebrate that fandom. Whether as a diehard, or the more reserved, take it all in kind of a fan, we all showcase our fandom in a different way from anyone else. As a Houston guy, I’ve always been loyal to the three sports franchises since I’ve loved sports (Texans, Astros, Rockets). To that end, it hasn’t exactly been the best of times for us since the Clutch City Rockets years in the mid 90′s. We’ve been to one championship appearance since then, and that was the Astros run in ’04. Now, granted we don’t have the luck of a Cleveland, Ohio, who seem to be doomed for the rest of their days in any sport. But we also don’t have the payrolls of cities like LA, Boston, or New York, where they can just go out and buy championships it seems. As for my love of the San Francisco 49ers, I was never attached to the Oilers as a kid, and just migrated to the 49ers as an alternative to a very huge Cowboy family. This year gave me hope of a better fan future. Even if I just got glimpses of it.

Houston Texans

Coming off the 2010 season there was a lot left to be desired for these Houston Texans. Another year of futility mixed with the league’s worst defense. So 2011 was a year of reckoning. Everything was falling into place for us…. Peyton Manning was hurt for the year and that opened the door for us to take the rightful spot of AFC South Champs. Then the injuries started. Arian Foster wasn’t 100% until Week 5. Then Andre Johnson blows his hamstring against the Steelers. Re-injures it against the Falcons 4 weeks later. It seemed like there was a Green Bay season curse of a year ago for the Texans. But it doesn’t end there…. Mario Williams in Week 7. Matt Schaub in Week 10. Matt Leinart in Week 11. And a litany of other role player injuries throughout the year. The reins of the season fell on the shoulders of 5th round rookie quarterback, TJ Yates, from North Carolina. The rookie did alright given the circumstances. His biggest moment coming in Week 14 when he led a comeback against the Cincinnati Bengals, that clenched the franchise’s first division crown, and a spot in the playoffs. Weeks later pitted the Texans against the Bengals again in a wild card round matchup. After rookie, JJ Watt, picked off a pass from Andy Dalton and returned it for a touchdown, the Texans won their first playoff game in team history. The next game put the Texans against the Baltimore Ravens in another regular season rematch. The turning point in this game happened early. WR Jacoby Jones tried to field a punt after the first Ravens possession. Managed to muff the punt inside the 10 yard line that led to a Ravens touchdown. The move completely killed off any momentum the team would’ve had and they were fighting back the rest of the game. I thoroughly believe that we would’ve won that game just playing great defense and running the ball. But losing that fumble right then and there, it just destroyed everything. So… Where does this team go from here?

The Future is Bright

Connor Barwin, Brooks Reed, and JJ Watt (the guy in the picture) are the core pieces of this defense that went from worst to first in one season. That is huge turnaround and bonus for us. This defense will only get better as the unit stays together.

Jacoby Jones

"I'm a Texan" Not for much longer, buddy.

The great thing? This guy will not be on the roster in any capacity. Thank God. The Texans will do all in their power to replace him. And it’s not a moment too soon. Actually it’s 3 seasons too late.

Mario Williams

Hopefully he'll be for a long time.....

The pink elephant in the room is the looming Mario Williams contract. He’s an unrestricted free agent coming off an injury. Good news is it wasn’t an injury of any real circumstance. Bad news is that we have to pay him a huge amount of money (that we don’t have) to keep him. The big issue is we’re above the salary cap. Oh, and the little thing about resigning a couple of other players… namely, Arian Foster. I’d love to have Mario back, and I think he has a spot on this defense, but it’ll take a lot of work on both sides to get it done.

San Francisco 49ers

Who would’ve thought that somehow first year head coach, Jim Harbaugh, could spin Alex Smith into gold? Seemed impossible. Yet, it happened. I’ll admit that after last year’s terrible season, I pegged the Niners for 6-8 wins AT BEST. I was given 13 in turn and the #2 seed in the NFC. Go figure. What Harbaugh’s presence has done to this team means can not be understated in any sort of way. He literally picked Alex up from the scrap heap, said I can make a QB out of you yet, and actually DID IT! My hat is off to the man. The team played in easily the worst division in football. This was fully realized when we managed to secure a division title by I think…week 3 maybe? We go into the playoffs red hot and have a thriller against New Orleans at Candlestick in Week 2 of the playoffs. That game definitely goes down as the best Alex has ever played. And it was a definite joy to see it. Alex Smith seemingly came full circle in one evening of football. Next up…the New York Giants for the NFC Championship Game. This game is the prime definition of a dogfight. These teams are fighting tooth and nail on a rainy San Francisco night. The Niners can’t get a man on Victor Cruz who keeps burning us, but we counter that with Vernon Davis who also can’t be guarded and manages to slip pass coverage twice for TDs. The game goes into overtime. And as we all know, WR Kyle Williams is replacing Ted Ginn Jr. on special teams as a return man and bobbles the punt inside our 30. I am devastated. Like the rest of the Niners. The Giants go in and 2 plays later, kick the field goal that would send them to their 4th Superbowl title. I’m stunned by this turn of events. In 2 weeks, both of my teams lose in IDENTICAL fashion. Unbelievable. And that starts my downward depression that lasts a little over a week. I had to get out of my apartment. I just needed air. Too much heartbreak in a week’s time. Just too much. Then after that week, I was able to talk about it again. Still to this day of me writing this, hurts like Hell but when I think of this team as the 6-8 win team I figured it to be, I learned that I can’t let it eat at me so much. So the moving on process is getting easier. What now for the Niners?

Jim Harbaugh

The QB Whisperer.....

I don’t think this season’s greatness is a one year deal. Plus you throw in that the Niners still play in the NFC West, and we could be poised for a couple of these runs.

Defense! Defense! Defense!

This team has been built on defense through the Singletary years, and now it’s really starting to show. This defense is all about destroying the opposition and it’s fun to watch. That Donte Whitner hit on Pierre Thomas is still giving that guy nightmares. The addition of Aldon Smith, makes this defense a sight to behold. They’ve got to resign Carlos Rogers though.

Alex Smith

Is it a one year miracle? I’ve already forgiven Alex for years of bad play. He’s a free agent this year and will more than likely be back with us and won’t be commanding a lot of cap money. When can use that money to go and resign other needs.

Wide Receivers

This guy has to be better for us to take the next step.

What an eyesore. Going into the NYG game, the 49ers had two healthy WRs… Crabtree and Williams. Whether it be through the draft, or free agency (and there are a plethora of WRs available), the Niners have to make it known that there’s more than Vernon Davis on this team to cover.

And that does it for my two team wrap up. Sorry again that it took so long. And do expect our annual first round NFL Mock Draft blog in the weeks ahead.

The Big Socrates

Black people have a hard time getting into “certain clubs”.

And we’re not the only culture, but I can only speak from my perspective and experiences. I’ve even recently heard of cases of folks getting in trouble who stood up for their peers (in this case, teammate) who were discriminated against. If this hasn’t happened to you yet as a black male, you either don’t go out, you’re always over-dressed when you do go out, or you simply just stay ‘in your comfort zone’.

You can't relate!

Going to college in Austin, TX, I learned these lessons at an early age. Ya see, back in 2004 when I was a freshmen, brothas were still in the blazers, long button-ups, jeans, and Air Forces.

Thanks for this trend, Usher!

That was ‘dressin’ up’. That was all we needed to go out.

Until club owners didn’t appreciate the crowd that wore Air Forces in theirs clubs.

The popularity of Air Forces back then seemed to bring about the “no white shoes”rule. This eventually grew into the “no tennis shoes” rule…and at some places, the  “no laces” rules…Or the “no white laces”…and I’ve even heard ”your laces are too thick” rule.

Other cultural staples got ruled out as well.

R.I.P. Polo Boots and Tims, you served me well.

So by the time I was turned 21, I was well-aware of all of the rules, and was ready to explore clubs of different people and genres all along 6th St. Brothers started investing in loafers. Brothers started to wear slimmer jeans. Brothers started wearing shirts that (really) fit. All for the sake of being able to get into general clubs and bars.

Now, most of us have been pissed at an underdressed friend on a night of going out.  He might as well had forgot his ID that night, because he wasn’t going to get into any of the places we were trying to go to. But then ya’ll feel bad for leaving your friend alone, and ya’ll end up being over-dressed at a ”very comfortable” establishment where your Cole Haans are getting scuffed by other dudes with Timberland boots. (Nothing against such establishments, but I wasn’t dressed to sweat)

Then there were those other nights when you ensured that all your friends had the right clothes on. You get to the door of a nice place, and the doorman tells you that your 6′ 4″ friend that weighs 250 lbs. can’t get in because his jeans are too baggy…”at the bottom”. Keep in mind, he’s a big dude (He’s in shape considering his size) , dressed as sharply as he can, but still can’t get in. Meanwhile, other patrons get in with cargo shorts and hoodies. I’ve witnessed this.

And now I’m a grown ass man…with a job…with money to waste on over-priced drinks, and a charm that can break the ice of any crowd…and I know how to dress.  

 

Bluntly, I'm the type of black dude you want at your party!

But even as a grown ass man, the double-standard still prevails. And I’m still getting shit from doorman, such as:

"...But there's only a lil' bit of padded leather around the toe of my shoe."

“…But this is a V-neck from Banana Republic. Wanna see the tag? I ain’t lying.”

 

"These are Aldo!"

 

"Can I tuck it in?" (Even though that'll make me look extra wack)

"Well damn, now my shirt is wrinkled..."

Maybe the 5% rule is more prominent than I thought.

And my feelings on this came to a head a few weeks ago when I wasn’t able to get into Sawyer Park(@sawyerpark) in Houston around 3:30PM on a Sunday Afternoon to watch an NFL Playoff game because I had some sporty windpants on that looked “too relaxed”. On a Sunday afternoon with the intent to watch football.

Let me say to the club owners and bouncers, that I understand and agree with the enforcement of dress attire for certain venues . But make sure that you’re not being too subjective about it, if your poor souls can help it. And to be real, in many cases it doesn’t only seem that you’re discouraging certain attire, but it seems they’re discouraging (or discriminating) certain cultures as well.

We know what you want. You want $$. You want no drama. You want “beautiful” people. You want a good reputation for fun and exclusiveness. Whether or not you feel black people can help them achieve all that is another question which I’ll try not to assume the answer to. However, don’t be surprised when black people try to get into your place.

There’s no glory in being discriminatory, but if you’re going to enforce such standards as “dreads can’t be too long”….”we can’t let too many black people in at once”… then claim that shit. Man up, and claim the conditions that you enforce. 

 Seemingly, club owners don’t care about being called discriminatory. Their patrons don’t either. Exclusiveness is what makes these places thrive. Same thing that made Facebook thrive over MySpace and Hi5.  If their patrons don’t want to be around black people, then a club with loose-principles will cater to that. These places want to make you feel that you’re not worthy to get in, when they’re not a worthy place to get into. They try to say that we’re not dignified enough to come in, when in fact, they’re not a dignified place at all. And I’ve come to peace with the fact that these type of places aren’t going anywhere, and that I shouldn’t burden myself with letting such places make me feel like less of a person.

 “So Justinfication, surely you don’t expect this to end. What are you going to do now when you go out and you run into this again ?”

My strategy goes like this:

• Get rejected
• Ask why?
• Express disappointment (in a civil way)
• Walk away and give business to a welcoming bar (“…get mine”)
• Tell Others (perhaps write a blog)

Throw some sarcasm somewhere in that list, depending on my mood.

 In my dreams, I would be able to belittle the doorman in public, “Good Will Hunting” style, and walk away from the bar to the applause of all bystanders.

…and I also hope that my rejection into the club eats away at the bouncer’s soul.

“Don’t envy bad people; don’t even want to be around them.”

-Proverbs 24:1

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By now, we’ve all heard about, envied, and gotten tired of hearing about one, Blue Ivy Carter. She’s a month old today. Before I go on, let me congratulate Jay-Z and Beyonce for becoming parents. I really am happy for both of them. Shortly after the birth of the child, Jay-Z supposedly vowed to stop using the word “bitch” in his lyrics. That’s commendable (if it’s true). I suppose his mother, grandmother, and wife weren’t enough to stop him from referring to women as such before Little Girl Blue’s arrival. I digress. Jay-Z released a heart-warming song called “Glory”, inspired by his firstborn a few weeks ago. That got me thinking. What are the best songs from male artists about parenthood?

10. “Forever Young” – Rod Stewart
I had to get the overplayed song out of the way. I’m sure a lot of you didn’t know this is about a father talking to his child. Perhaps it was the theme of your prom or the name of your yearbook, but it’s actually really insightful when you look at it as a song full of well wishes for an offspring.

9. “Prayer for You” – Usher
Usher vows to be the best daddy he can for his son here. This is probably one of the weaker songs on this list lyrically, but the raw emotion behind it gives it a spot. I’m convinced Jigga got the idea to have his child making cute baby noises from Usher. Usher got it from Timbaland.

8. “Father to Son” – Phil Collins
I can’t think of another song that features a dad telling his son about the joy and pain from females. I just love the wisdom and advice it has in it. Collins warns his son that he’ll get hurt. He’ll come across some girls who aren’t right for him, but when he finds the right one, he will know. All the while, the former Genesis lead singer assures his son that he’ll be there for him.

7. “Mockingbird” – Eminem
I had to pick from “Mockingbird”, “Hailie’s Song”, “When I’m Gone”, and “97 Bonnie & Clyde”, but I think I got this one right. Em has so many tracks centered around his daughter, but “Mockingbird” seems to have the most emotional conviction behind it. It came out after a difficult time in his personal life, so it’s not the typical, sweet kind of love song, but that’s what makes it great to me. You have to go through some things as a man to create such a track. Through it all, he has his daughter, and that’s all he needs.

6. “Just the Two of Us” – Will Smith
Growing up, I didn’t appreciate this track like I do now. Growing up, I didn’t think this would be one of the last tracks of its kind that would become a mainstream hit. I want to thank Grover Washington, Jr. and Bill Withers for inspiring this song, but the Fresh Prince perfectly frames the joys and blessings of fatherhood.

5. “My Father’s Eyes” – Eric Clapton
This very well could be the deepest song on the list. I was really close to putting “Tears in Heaven” here since it’s about the child that Clapton tragically lost in 1991, but it just didn’t feel right. This one, however, is also in memory of his son, but seems a bit more hopeful. Since Clapton never actually met his father, the closest he felt to his father was when he looked into his son’s eyes. This song just puts parenthood on a completely different level.

4. “Isn’t She Lovely?” – Stevie Wonder
My goodness. Talk about completion and perfection. Obviously, it’s about his daughter, Aisha, but the thing that makes this song a true classic is the fact that you can feel how overjoyed and proud Stevie is to be a dad. He thanks God, the mother of the child, and wraps it all in love. Absolutely beautiful.

3. “Cat’s in the Cradle” – Harry Chapin
I love this song because it shows the remorseful side of fatherhood. So many fathers regret not spending enough time with their children while they’re growing up. Overnight, it seems that boys grow into men. This is not the glamorous type of fatherhood track, but that’s why it has a place here. None of us are perfect.

2. “Simple Man” – Lynyrd Skynyrd
This one is just incredible. It’s so simple, yet so profound. Look past the fact that it’s technically through the eyes of Ronnie Van Zant’s mother. If you listen to it like a father guiding his son through life, it fits perfectly on this list. Don’t live life too fast, know that troubles pass, find a good woman, don’t forget about God,  know that everything you need is in your soul, and follow your heart. Be a simple man.

1. “Little Girl’s Eyes” – Lenny Kravitz
I have no words for this masterpiece. I haven’t been blessed with any kids yet, but if and when I do, I will play this and sing it as a lullaby. As far as I’m concerned, no other song provides as good a glimpse into the soul of a man after the birth of his child quite like this ballad. Aside from the lyrics, the instrumentation captures the joy, pride, and love from having a child. Bless you, Lenny.

That’s my list. It was a lot more difficult than I imagined at first, but I believe I did the category justice. I tried my best not to let my genre biases interfere with the deeper meaning within each of these songs. Disagree with something? Did I leave something out? Any ideas for another countdown? Let me know. It’s good to be back, thREADERS.

-23

It’s been a good year for Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer. Both Davis and Spencer toiled through bit roles and pieces in some of Hollywood’s biggest movies over the years but never quite got the credit or shine either actress was due. This especially holds true for Viola Davis, an exceptional talent who always managed to make minimal roles memorable (you might not have noticed her turn as a lawyer on certain episodes of the show Law & Order: Special Victims Unit back when it was still relevant because Stabler was on there or as the fed-up mayor of Los Angeles in the Jamie Foxx-Gerard Butler flick Law Abiding Citizen). Spencer, on the other hand, was most known for playing comic relief roles. She technically still is.

2011 was crucial for both of them, however, as it propelled both actresses into the spotlight through the motion picture adaptation of Kathryn Stockett’s surprising best-selling book, The Help. Now, I admit, I haven’t yet had a chance to read the novel in full yet, so I hesitated about writing this blog until I did that. But the more I wait, the more Davis, Spencer, and The Help itself continue to garner accolades, to be rewarded and awarded… and I’m not entirely sure how to feel about that. 

My qualm is not with the actresses themselves. Every major character in The Help does a phenomenal job. Bryce Dallas Howard does a complete 360 from her usual passive roles. You’d be hard-pressed to believe that the timid girl from those M. Night Shyamalan disappointments The Village and, to a lesser extent, Lady in The Water, could actually embody the role of someone you truly hate because she harbors a prejudice that is moreso motivated by jealousy than ignorance. Yet Dallas Howard does exactly that as Hilly Holbrook from the minute the movie first begins. I’ll admit I had my angry Black man moment when Hilly first proposed the “separate bathrooms” idea. Emma Stone, who has continued to show her acting chops and impressive diversity with each ensuing film following Superbad, is also incredible as Skeeter Phelan, a woman who is unconsciously moreso motivated to tell Aibileen and Minny’s stories because she never got a chance to finish her own personal story with her family’s former maid.

Abby... these white people over there laughing just a little too hard for me!

Davis is riveting as Aibileen. She absolutely lives up to the character’s “just strong enough to make it” persona, dealing with disrespect from her white female employers and having to project the love she was never fully able to give her son onto kids who don’t entirely appreciate her as their literal “mother figure” when their own lazy mothers slack in their parental duties. It may be missed on many in the younger generation, but it took a lot of swallowing pride and strength to be able to go to work at a place where you weren’t really wanted, where people had the audacity to tell you take a shit elsewhere, yet relied upon you to change their baby’s shitty diaper that had no doubt been accumulating waste from the start of the day on.

By now, you must be asking, “But, Mr. Gatsby… where are the so-called qualms? You’ve praised the movie more than the critics!” Well, here’s the thing – two things, actually – where The Help may harm.

First, I loathe with a passion movies that have what I’ve come to call “the great white savior” character. Basically, this involves the introduction of a white character to people from underrepresented backgrounds (Black, Latino, Asian-American, etc.) in a bleak or disadvantaged situation. The white character becomes so sympathetic that they “do something” in an effort to inspire or encourage the minority characters to take action or “believe in themselves.” The minority character(s) initially refuses, for a reason that the viewer might take as selfish (but which, in actuality, may just be the character being safe; in the case of The Help, Aibileen and Minny initially do not want to help Skeeter with her book because state laws would allow for either of them to be Strange Fruit arrested for “defamation” of their employers, nor does the state allow Blacks to read books period). After a critical tragedy or turning point, however, the minority character takes the white character up on their offer and “progress is made.” Once the “progress is made,” one of two things happens: the great white savior is given an opportunity to go elsewhere and intends to stay in the community (having developed real friendships with the minority characters), but the minority characters insist that they’ll be okay if the savior goes riding off into the sunset to change someone else’s world; or the minority characters, feeling empowered by the great white savior, are “sent off” to be something big and great.

"My sisters! I am here to save you because you can't save yourselves! Isn't that awesome?!"

The problem here is that Skeeter highkey gets the credit for “changing the world.” To Skeeter’s credit – as is often the case with the “great white savior” – she does have a sympathetic background, and it is revealed that she legitimately cared for her family’s former domestic worker (Cicely Tyson in her usual former slave wise old woman role) dearly. Skeeter even goes far as to say their maid “practically raised me” at one point later on in the film. But I worry that the impression is given that, without Skeeter, the Black maids would still be in the plight they’re in. Technically, at the end of the movie, nothing has REALLY changed. Minny is still doing domestic work for a white family (and actually takes it as a compliment when she’s told “we don’t want you to leave. We want you to work for us for many years to come.” *insert the blankest of blank stares*) Skeeter leaves, even though she COULD stay and continue to use her writing to impact the community; but she’s certainly encouraged to go off and follow her dreams by Aibileen and Minny. And the movie ends with Aibileen being fired from her job as a domestic worker, walking off in a hopeful mindstate that is still slightly bleak… because I mean, DOES Aibileen have other options other than going BACK to domestic work?

In short, I worry that The Help winning Best Picture at The Oscars will reinforce the “great white savior” idea and ultimately absolve white people from feeling any guilt whatsoever about Black domestic workers, some of whom worked for white families for generations. *but hey, that’s all in the past!*

Secondly, historically Oscar has not always been kind in terms of rewarding African-Americans who play, shall we say, “positive” roles; they get nominated but never win unless the role has some kind of negative connotation. The last few African-American roles that have won Oscars include a physically and mentally abusive mother (Mo’Nique, Precious), murderous men on a power trip (Denzel Washington, Training Day, and Forrest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland), a woman whose biggest contribution to the plot is a sex scene with a racist white man (Halle Berry, Monster’s Ball), and a musician whose womanizing and drug habit slightly eclipsed his contributions to music in the film’s plot (Jamie Foxx, Ray).

The irony is not lost on me, amongst others, that should Viola Davis win Best Actress, as deserving as she may be, it will be damn near 1939 all over again, when Hattie McDaniel was awarded an Oscar for playing the doting Mammy to Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With the Wind. Perhaps it’ll just be an unfortunate coincidence, but it will absolutely be a shame Davis’s talent wasn’t noticed until she played a maid. And, yes, I take offense a lot to the movie’s tagline, “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” The Help itself is nominated for Best Picture, too. *sigh* Needless to say, I definitely don’t want it to win because then twitter is going to annoy me with all these “post-racial America is real/racism is dead now!” comments.

For all its potential implications, The Help was an incredible watch. I certainly recommend it. And maybe, just maybe my paranoia is unfounded. Surely we can always take solace in the fact that Terrence Howard didn’t win Best Actor for playing rapper-pimp DJay in Hustle & Flow, right?

Soon, I shall have my vengeance soon

The “Oh Now You Like Me” complex Stage I: The Incubation – You knew this was coming. In high school the nerd felt like no one appreciated them. In all honesty that probably wasn’t even the case. Everyone is adored by someone, the issue was that the nerd totally overlooked the people who liked them for the Quarterback, Cheerleader, Class Clown, or Fly Girl . However in the self-centered mind of the nerd no one has ever liked them because they were so “different” from the rest of the plebes. They dream “in college things will be different, people will be more intelligent, they’ll want more than muscles, a pretty face, or whatever it is that they are attracted to but are angry at everyone else for desiring. You can see the formation of the douche qualities early. The blithe dismissal of others choices and decisions. The hypocritical judgement of others due to not being able or willing to do the same things that they are doing.

Stage II: The Metamorphoses

Once they reach college however the revenge begins. Bright eyed and bushy-tailed freshman enroll determined to be better than those losers they left in secondary school. With a new beginning and among a group of strangers some become what they really wanted to be in high school, the very tyrants they left. The numbers of their fellow-travelers are high and in the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king so the nerds will choose a new ruling class of cool people. It is at this point the notion of exemplifying their ideals is put to the test. Earlier signs of the self-centered nature that was nurtured in high school begin to be impressed upon the outside world. Instead of looking for the people who embody all the qualities they told themselves that they would value in high school they chase those with the exact characteristics that they condemned others for going gaga for back then. The difference is that the kids in high school who hooked up with the captain of the cheerleading squad or the big dog on campus probably actually liked them, often they settled down and got married and while they may not be materially rich their emotional life is absolutely satisfied. In college that’s rare. Instead you have a lot of people making up for lost time and trying to really get it in, if you catch my drift. Hearts are broken but who cares because they’ve been hurt before. Really it’s someone else’s fault for making them that way. If others had recognized the special little flower they had been all along people wouldn’t be suffering now. The people who aren’t climbing the social ladder lament the shallow nature of those who have risen and tell themselves “once I go to grad school/law school everything will be different. People will like me for my intellect and unique vision they let too many people into this college anyway. The next step that’s where the crème de la crème is at.” or whatever. Repeat ad infinitum until you have a doctorate.

Stage III: The Transformation Is Complete

Honestly, probably a real cool dude. That movie ruined it for him

If further schooling isn’t in our extremely bitter nerds future then making a lot of money is. This is where we leave from the self-pitying jerk to full-blown “they never liked me before so it’s my right to be an a-hole now” douche. Once they are successful in making that money, love that money, they are fully ready to lord it over all they survey. Despite the fact that the people that they loathed in high school are most likely nowhere near their life now they’re feelings were hurt once upon a time and that insecurity has never left their psyche, someone has to pay. This leads to what Panama Jackson at Very Smart Brothers has labeled as “diva dudes“. I’m not quite sure of the female analogue but I strongly suspect she’s the young woman who does all the interviews lamenting how they can’t ever find a man who’s “on their level” every six months when the media wants to remind the world that black women “just aren’t getting married”. I can’t say for sure but when I see those articles I suspect I’m seeing a very smart and capable woman who had to have at least a few brothers who were in the same classes as she was but has conveniently forgotten that there are fellows with doctorates next to their name who aren’t dating white women or other men. In conclusion the issue is that their superior intellectual intelligence is coupled with a stunted emotional intelligence. Not every nerd falls into this pattern but enough do for a trend piece in the New York Times.

Related articles

• Top 10 Things I’ve Learned from Living with a Nerd (gemmafawn.wordpress.com)
• Nerd badges (syrco.wordpress.com)
• “Revenge of the Nerds” (mooooniez.wordpress.com)
• King of the Nerds Is Looking for Bay Area Geeks (blogs.sfweekly.com)