We have a problem. Let’s call it death by cool. People are too cool nowadays to honestly communicate. I understand that no one wants to get hurt in a relationship but people are overdosing with the inanity now.
When you were young and dumb you probably accepted that in order for you to have a successful relationship with you had to open yourself up to emotional pain. It sucked but it was worth it because the good times were that much more important. This was a very good way to look at the world and I believe the right one but somewhere along the line we seemed to have lost our way.
It probably started in High School. You had that special person who shredded your heart, trashed your feelings, and pasted that super special letter you wrote them in that slam book that was going around your school. You grew a bit more jaded and stopped being surprised when someone let you down. Then you went off to college thinking things would change.
You thought by the time you got to college everyone would be mature enough to deal with their feelings and understand and respect the feelings of others. Ha! What you found were people just as jaded as you, who were trying to transform themselves into whoever the main heartbreaker at their school was. Instead of having open and honest conversations with the objects of our affection we’ve taken to emulating two legislators negotiating policy with our own personal media used to gain a strategic advantage.
When someone gives and express themselves they’re quite liable to being the object of derision in the other parties tweet, facebook status ,or (if you’re still doing this you should stop, just stop) myspace update. When arguments break out there is a race to the hallowed “I care less than you do” relationship chalice. It’s all so very…childish.
People wonder why no one writes love songs like they used to when the answer is right in front of their nose, people don’t love like they used to. What’s worse is that we deride people who are open and honest when they are feeling that special person.
They’re the “suckers” for love who’s worst transgression was turning to someone they genuinely are feeling and stated aloud “you know I’m really feeling you”. I’ve been on both sides of the situation and let me tell you both sides end up losing. Think about how many women or men you really wanted to notice you, or wanted to know you noticed them but instead you let them float on by because you didn’t want to “put yourself out there”.
Now I’m not advocating being a blind fool who is constantly getting walked on. A large part of the issue lies in how we select who we want. Both men and women have a real bad habit of being attracted to someone who everyone else is enamored with too. The reason this strategy isn’t the best has to be obvious to all involved.
If we’re not following after the crowd to our mates doorstep we are more often than not choosing the person we perceive as being the most fun or exciting. Knowing full and well that the attributes that make that person fun is probably bad business when you want to settle down and just have someone to watch movies with. So no I’m not saying be totally ignorant and honest with every person you find in your life.
However if you do find that special person don’t be afraid to grow up and act like you did in high school.