On the actual Thread, we have had various discussions about our potential life mates. The process of finding a husband or wife isn’t always an easy task. If we admit it or not, we all have our “Better Half Checklist”. I know I personally do, and I’ll let you in on some of the qualifications (some practical and some superficial. I’m not the one to sugarcoat or hide the real deal) on my list:
- A God Fearing Man
- Above 6 Feet
- Extremely Assertive
- A College Graduate.
- What are your thoughts about the credentials to engage in a meaningful romantic relationship?
- Do you think there’s a difference when it comes to men and women and education statuses?
- Is the power structure shifted if one partner is college educated, and the other is not?
- Are college educated and “school of hard knocks” people in different social classes even though they make the same amount of money?
- What do you think is so significant about the college process that may cause a rift between the ones who have and have not experienced it?
- Would you consider a person that has a certain amount of education (hours) as mate even though they have not finished their degree?
- Is there a similar discussion between a person with only a bachelor’s degree and someone with a post-baccalaureate degree?
- How do you feel moral standards play a part in the difference in education?
When discussing this list with my peers, I’ve gotten a lot of flack from the last criteria on my list. I do understand that some of the smartest and most successful people have never had a formal education. I also understand that my dream man, Idris Elba, doesn’t have any type of shingles hanging from his walls, but this personal requirement comes with substance from testimonials, analyzation, and even as far as trial and error.
Since graduating college, out of the four guys I’ve casually dated (and I mean JUST DATED you nasty minded people!!!) two have been college graduates and two have attempted a college education but never finished. I have to admit that I saw a difference in the relationships. Even though we attended separate schools, there was always that higher education connection that I had with the two men that had degrees. There was a kindred experience we shared that linked us with a four to five year process, a completion of what is said to be the hardest degree you will ever earn in your life.
With the other two men, our relationships were significantly different. There was always a battle of understanding when it came to our conversations whether they were intellectual or casual. A lot of our discussions would turn into arguments because of miss interpretation of our beliefs or the process of our analyzations (if the dudes even analyzed anything at all).
It is MY belief that this comes from their lack of the complete college experience. College is an incubator that allows you to grow slowly into adulthood. We have professors and advisors that closely watch our development and challenge us to be better than we were the day before. College is the place where we get a chance to fail miserably and not have it (in most cases) taint the rest of our lives. It is a calculated time that gives you permission to “find yourself”. Some things “The School of Hard Knocks” doesn’t necessarily have. Passing all the tests, and checking everything off our list, we’ve worked steadfast and completed a goal that many start but NOT many finish.
Of course I acknowledge that there are other aspects to a relationship, but I also understand, in my opinion, that this significant difference causes a huge hindrance on other parts of a relationship as well. So am I wrong for making a college degree a concrete requirement for the future father of my child? Am I alone in this struggle?
Here are some questions I have as you all conjure up your opinions: