To Congratulate or Not To Congratulate…

04 Dec

I posed this question on the private Thread, and I figured I’d bring it to the thREADERS and get your take.  Let me preface this by saying that I am not casting judgment on premarital sex or babies born out of wedlock.  That is not my place, and it doesn’t matter in terms of this particular topic.  I’m not bringing religion into this either.  According to the Bible, sex outside of marriage is wrong (not just sex before marriage because adultery is wrong, too…another post, another day), but for the purpose of this discussion, I want to speak about what’s really going on in our communities.

Now, the question I posed was, “Is it right/cool/appropriate/acceptable/whatever word you want to use to congratulate a young female who is pregnant?”  I ask this because I’ve seen too many 15-20 year-olds who have Facebook walls full of congratulations after they find out and announce that they’re pregnant.  Most of the time these are our people or our Latina sisters.  Personally, I don’t say anything.  If I did say something, it would be some kind of best wishes or good luck because so many things can go wrong over the course of 36 weeks.  From a social standpoint, though, I don’t get what the congratulations are for. Congratulations on successfully procreating? Duh…anybody with a penis or vagina and a partner can do that.  My issue rests with some females and their immature friends getting some kind of strange sense of accomplishment from all of this. What did Joe Clark say?  “So many of you are bringing babies into this world just to prove you can accomplish something…” (3:05 mark) Yeah, that’s how I feel.  Shout out to “Lean on Me”.  I’ll congratulate you when the baby gets here.  How’s that? You successfully delivered a baby and only half of the population can do that.

To clear up any confusion, child birth/conception is a miracle.  Children are gifts from God.  This is not meant to be an attack on young parents/unwed mothers because, let’s face it, a large percentage of our community falls under one or both categories.  All I’m saying is when you have unprotected sex, the odds of getting pregnant go up drastically.  Getting pregnant is supposed to happen (barring physical ailments)!

I’m sure there are a lot of people with a lot of opinions on this topic, so I urge and encourage you to express how you feel about it. -23


Posted by on December 4, 2010 in Family, Sex


4 responses to “To Congratulate or Not To Congratulate…

  1. Jo

    December 5, 2010 at 7:41 AM

    I have had an amazing adventure in teaching with an abstinence based character and sex ed program and have gotten perspectives from teens and teachers from one end of the spectrum to the other on this…
    So far as are/are they not appropriate in regards to congratulations…really, you can dodge that word if you don’t agree and just be honest ::here I’ll insert this key note:: AND encouraging! Some are hard headed and think they’re ready and well able and they don’t ‘need’ you to tell them anything otherwise and others may not say as much…truth be told they’re both scared outta their minds and if they haven’t stopped to think about the reality they’re about to face at some point they will…and they’ll be scared and overwhelmed.
    Be the person who was/is honest and encouraging not the part of the masses who say ‘congratulations!!’ but when sound advice and solid encouragement is needed end up hollow…

  2. Tava

    December 6, 2010 at 11:32 AM

    I personally do not offer congratulations. Congratulations implies that someone did something, good something right, a job well done. Teen pregnancy does not fall under either of those. If they are a close friend I will normally send a text saying, “Hey I saw your announcement/news. If you ned anything let me know. All the Best.” And that’s it.

  3. realist23

    December 6, 2010 at 1:08 PM

    Thanks for the input, Jo and Tava.


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