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“Say Lil Daddy…”

06 Dec

Seeing as how this is my first post to the blog and the fact that I felt the need to flat out copy Typo-critical (why reinvent the wheel?), I figure an introduction is a necessary preface to this entry. I am Embossme: amateur writer, professional Black woman, charming, attractive & single *winks. I think that says enough without saying too much.

______________________________

I promise I’m getting better. No, really I am! There used to be a time when I would act a FOOL when a random guy would approach me trying to “holla”. My nose would turn up, I would immediately put on my “Ni**a please” face, cock my neck to the side and say “What?!” in my best hood-chic voice. Unfortunately this well rehearsed scene never worked, even when executed to perfection “he” would STILL try and get my number. I have to admit that some guys were really sweet, polite, and even respectful and truly didn’t deserve my candor; while others were rude, offensive, and just downright ratchet. The latter would usually approach me with “Saaay lil mama…” and that would be my cue (lights camera action!) Please note that these kinds of greetings vary based on region.  I grew up in the Midwest and back then it was “Hey Shorty”, but during my three year hiatus on the East Coast it was “Sup ma?” I remember once while in DC this guy approached me and said “Sup Ma, do you taste as good as you look?!” needless to say I was appalled.

One would assume that surely 99% of these encounters happened when I was rocking freshly perm’d, colored, and cut hair with a banging outfit, flawless makeup and glossy lips… Wrong! For some reason men love to approach me when I look like hell.  Point blank I hate being holla’d at by randoms.

Who knew that one day I’d be the “random” trying to holla at some dude…

I was running late to my girl’s graduation, but I desperately needed lip gloss. Two nights before the graduate-to- be was at my house rambling about what she was going to wear and I felt a little pressure to fix up. My outfit was cute but my lips weren’t popping so I decided to stop by the MAC store on my way to campus.

So, there I was at the Domain searching for a parking space when I spotted a cutie in the distance. My immediate thought was “I’llllll maarry you” (cue Coming to America).  He had a buttery brown complexion, nice build (Ice Cube-ish), he was well dressed (key give-away that he wasn’t from ATX) and he was rocking a well groomed taper & beard… I LOVE a man with a tight edge up…That was it, this dude was toast.  I swerved into the first parking space I could find, jumped out of my car and power walked (in heels) faster than Richard Simmons to catch up to him, unfortunately he was nowhere in sight.  I was a little disappointed but quickly recovered. On my way out of the lot I COULD have taken the closest exit, but I decided to go the long way in an effort to “accidently” roll up on ole boy. I pulled up to the stop sign and low and behold there he was!

I looked. He looked. I punk’d out and drove away!

Luckily my BFF Shaw hit me up as I was leaving & demanded that I go back and at least speak to the man.  I thought to myself “You know the rules, Demetria (Essence R/S Editor & creator of the “Cutie Run” Belle) said to smile & say hello.”  I drove back ignoring the voice in my head that screamed “This is desperate, do NOT do this!” I spot him walking in my direction and realized that I would have to alter this “Cutie Run” given that I was in my car. I pulled up, rolled down my window and the conversation went as follows:

Me: Hey, umm can you come here for a second?

Him: *finger pointed to chest* who me?

Me: Yes you, come here for one second?

He walked over and leaned down into my window… his skin was flawless & his eyes were gorgeous *fans self*, before I could explain my antics I realized that my car was filthy and I lost a little confidence.

Me: I promise I’m not stalking you *nervous laugh* but I saw you walking and I thought you were really cute um…are you umm…single?

Him: *smiles* yea actually I am single… but I live in Dallas

Me: Really? What brings you to Austin?

Him: I’m here for my Frat brother’s graduation

Me: Ahh so you pledged? Do you mind me asking what you pledged?

Him: * Flashes those pearly whites again* Take a guess?

Me: Omega?

Him: Nope

Me: Please tell me you’re not a Kappa?  (Long story)

Him: Lol Nope

Me: *smiles* Oh so you’re an Alpha (there’s no way he was a Sigma, different swag)

Him: Yep!

I secretly thanked God… I like Alphas & Omegas (no pun)

Me: Okay cold & cocky! **he loved that.

He smiles. I smile.

We continue with our flirty small talk for several minutes…

Me: Well look I’m running late to my girl’s graduation so I have to go, but my cell phone number is on the back of this card, if you think about it hit me up sometime!

Him: Cool, it was great meeting you… I’m gonna hit you up tonight *he smiles*

Me: okay cool *HUGE Kool-Aid smile*

When I drove off I prayed that he didn’t read the “wash me” sign that was written on my back window.  This is SO sad, and I’m embarrassed to say… but when I first drove up and rolled my window down I was tempted to start with “Say Lil Daddy…”

** The guy mentioned in this post turned out to be an awesome person.  During our third date he admitted that he was absolutely flattered by my approach and very attracted to my confidence.  Most of my male friends who heard this story applauded me and said they’d love for a woman to approach them in a classy way (like rolling up on them in a dirty 2001 Honda ha!). However, most of my female friends disagreed and argued that approaching any man comes off as desperate.

Thoughts?

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11 Comments

Posted by on December 6, 2010 in Double Standards, Relationships

 

11 responses to ““Say Lil Daddy…”

  1. realist23

    December 6, 2010 at 12:47 PM

    I love it. It is so flattering when a female approaches me in a confident/respectful way. I’ll admit. Dammit, sometimes I don’t want to holla at a female. I don’t like being just like every other dude who steps to you. Not my style. From a social standpoint, there should be more women like this. You would think that with numbers and statistics being against black women finding eligible black bachelors, women would be more aggressive, but that’s another story. I respect it.

    Notice that it was your FEMALE friends who think it’s desperate. If you come up to a guy respectfully and like the grown-ass woman that you are, I’d be willing to bet that he won’t see at as you being desperate. It’s flattering and a nice ego boost.

     
  2. primemeridian11

    December 6, 2010 at 1:31 PM

    “I secretly thanked God… I like Alphas & Omegas” HAHAHA! I like this. I’m partial to Alphas myself.

    I used to have an absolute bar against this. Mainly, because I grew up with a Southern mentality and a daddy who told me to NEVER approach or call a guy. I think his tactic worked for teaching me my worth, but it was a bit extreme. The way that you did this was actually cute and tasteful. I think women just need to balance. Thirsty women ruin it for us all because they make it so easy for a guy that men feel (know) that they no longer have to do the work. I personally still believe in and want to be pursued…thoroughly. However, initiating the contact does not mean that he won’t pursue you. It just means that you made sure he knew that you were pursuable…

    ::::LOVE CUTIE RUNS::::::

     
  3. utpipeline

    December 6, 2010 at 1:34 PM

    I aint mad at ya! Do your thug thizzle, but I know that approaching a man is not for me. I respect women that are brave enough to break the status quo and go after a guy they want. But we all have gifts, and approaching men isn’t one of mine!

    One thing I would like to point out is about the begininng of your post. You mentioned the nasty looks and/or responses you would give to men when you weren’t interest. My brother and I were talking about that. I think one of the most dangerous things a woman can do is nastily reject a man. These days men are crazy. During our convo, my brother mentioned how a woman was rude to a guy that was trying to holler at her, and he killed her. He was having just that bad of a day (or life). Ladies, unless the guy is flat out harrassing us, there’s no reason to be rude to us. No matter how busted he looks, just smile and say no thank you… you’re married… not looking… underage…

     
  4. Jerren

    December 6, 2010 at 1:59 PM

    Good for you!

    I think if you really want something to happen, you should go after it. A lot of us will never get anywhere in life if we waited on something to notice us.

    Also, in these days and times you have to be careful about how you let men down. These guys are beating up, shooting, and killing women who reject them when they try to “holla”. Even if guy is mad disrespectful it’s always good to handle it with class.

     
  5. TP4

    December 6, 2010 at 2:59 PM

    I did not technically approach my boyfriend (nor did he directly approach me… story for another day) but I did take his phone and put my number in it because he was NOT asking me and I was starting to feel him. Eventually, I’m sure he would have asked but I couldn’t wait anymore. Best decision I made.

    I always believed the right person would find me, but I never took that to mean they would find me and approach me and have me be interested. I always knew that person would find their way to my circle somehow, but that definitely does not mean that there wasn’t work to do on my end.

    Moral of the story: get em!

     
  6. justinfication

    December 6, 2010 at 3:32 PM

    It is appropriate for woman to put herself in a place to be respectably pursued by a good man.

    It’s definitely an art though. Patience, confidence, timing. Since such a situation is definitely unique, that is what needs to be taught to these young woman. [Men too, but ya’ll are the subject here]

    I appreciate the women who can do it, respectably. And as a man, I must ensure that a I respond respectively as well. Whether I want to play ball or not.

     
  7. Jo

    December 6, 2010 at 4:07 PM

    This made me laugh out loud a few, no, scratch that, many times. I LOVED it! If for no other reason than that you both experienced what the other was most accustomed to, you being nervous and suddenly really aware of a less than immaculate car and he with his point and “who me?” moment. It certainly offers perspective and ideally affords more grace to the other’s normal position.

    I don’t know if I would’ve had courage enough to do it but I certainly applaud you for taking a turn in his shoes.

     
  8. MichaelYoungHistory

    December 6, 2010 at 9:19 PM

    Taste as good as you look?!?! HAHAHAHA who says that!!!

    So…nobody is gonna ask it…what HAPPENED with the guy?!?!

    I love a woman with confidence. But, if you “Say Lil Daddy’d” me that woulda been a turnoff to me. I like the way you handled it!

     
  9. Erica

    December 7, 2010 at 10:25 AM

    lol, now i cant write about this supposed “cutie run”! haha.

     
  10. embossme

    December 7, 2010 at 10:41 AM

    @TP4 “but I did take his phone and put my number in it because he was NOT asking me and I was starting to feel him. Eventually, I’m sure he would have asked but I couldn’t wait anymore. Best decision I made.”
    **Hahaha Thats awesome. This may sound crazy but I would be afraid to that… men are crazy about invading their cell phone privacy! That was pretty bold of you.. cudos.

    @utpipeline “These days men are crazy. During our convo, my brother mentioned how a woman was rude to a guy that was trying to holler at her, and he killed her. He was having just that bad of a day (or life).”
    ** That is crazy, I reject you and kill me?? My brother had the same talk with me about rejecting guys and how I really didnt have to be rude… Ive grown, it was an immaturity thing.

    @Jo ” I LOVED it! If for no other reason than that you both experienced what the other was most accustomed to”
    ** Thats a great point… it definitely put things into perspective… its not easy for men to approach women.

    @realist23 “From a social standpoint, there should be more women like this”

    ** I’ll admit its somewhat empowering… was definitely a confidence booster.

    @MichaelYoungHistory “So…nobody is gonna ask it…what HAPPENED with the guy?!?!

    ** LOL… to be honest, we lacked that “it” factor & for me thats a deal breaker. For him it was the distance, he felt like in order for us to move forward we would need to be in the same city..that was his deal breaker. We both decided that we would fall back a little & eventually things sort of faded out. BUT guess who texted me last night??? “Lil daddy” it was his Bday & I wished him well via FB… he wrote back that he thinks about me frequently…as do I. We’re friends.

     
  11. Typo-Critical

    December 7, 2010 at 8:32 PM

    I will return to comment on this later. For now, I’m outright flattered you felt I was right enough to copy. I’ve been “Embossed.” lol

     

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