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Tribute to the 5 Most Sympathetic Cartoon Characters from My Childhood

06 Dec

[Prologue: In leiu of the current cartoon character trend on Facebook to protest child abuse…]

Is it too much for a kid to want a happy-ending?

All kids expect happy endings. And kids will go out of their way to get closure on a storyline — especially when the kid relates to or admires a character. When I was a kid, there were just some characters that I rooted for all the time—because they seemed to never ‘win’. Cartoonists definitely knew how to pull the heart-strings of lil’ kids, and I fell into their sentimental traps every time.

I don’t believe in prosperity gospel, but in the case of cartoons and ‘feel-good’ movies, I wanted the characters I rooted for to ‘win’ all the time. As horrible as it was, I forced myself to watch Aladdin: Prince of Thieves because I had to see Aladdin marry Jasmine, and I wanted to know who Aladdin’s father was too [oops, spoiler alert].

This post may seem bitter, but I assure you I am over it. My childhood; however, is still holding a grudge.

[Note: Youtube links don’t all work on blog page, so click to watch on Youtube!]

5. Doug Funny
Alright, Doug didn’t have it THAT bad. But I had to root for this kid.
Doug Funny
He had a long-time crush on Patti Mayonaisse, even though nothing developed there. I wouldn’t really say that Patti reciprocated her feelings but the storyline definitely led us all to hope that she would eventually turn around.


Roger was a rival of his, but that didn’t bother me too much. Roger lived in a trailer park with his divorced mom. I gave him a pass for being a bully.

Doug had quite an creative imagination, too, with which I could relate. He would draw out his alter-egos  to conquer the tough situations of his life.

Doug wasn’t perfect, but I think we’d all call him a good, well-rounded guy.

Here’s to you, Doug Funny!

Storyline that would bring me closure:
Doug gets over Patti and marries Connie (who lost all her baby weight after elementary school).

Where is Doug now?
Doug was a smart, nice guy. I’m sure he’s fine. No entertaining story here.

4. Wile E. Coyote.
Life didn’t allow this guy to get the bird, yet Life still gave him the bird.

He invested all his money into faulty ACME equipment. He was always falling and blowing up. He was mischievous, sure. But I was never given a reason to hate this guy. And I was never given a reason to like the Road Runner either. Road Runner didn’t even communicate – which gave me more of a reason to root for the animals that seemed more intellectually competent.

Yes, smart alecks and Looney Toon fanatics… I know that he eventually catches the roadrunner…

Storyline that would bring me closure:
Wil E. Coyote [legitimately] catches the Roadrunner, realizes that he’s wasted his life chasing a road runner and moves on.

Where’s Wile E. Coyote now?
Working behind the register at KFC.

Where’s the Road Runner now?

Live by the Road, Die by the Road!

Live by the Road, Die by the Road!

3. Chuckie Finster

Chuckie

He was the only Rug-rat living in a single-parent home. He was a ginger. He was bucktoothed. He was always nervous and hesitant. He had bad eye-sight. And on top of all that, Angelica would punk him daily. He wasn’t even two years old, and he had an inferiority complex. And yea, I watched an episode of that new Rugrats when they were teens, and Chucky was still getting punked. SMH.

Chuckie was loyal though, and got brave when he needed to.

Stretch Storyline that would bring me closure:

Chucky marries Susie CarMichael.  Susie makes a man out of him. Chuck stands up to Angelica. And scene.

2. Trix Bunny

Who denies cereal? Poor guy….

Where’s the Trix bunny now?
Probably in a rehabilitation center due to his addictive persona.

Where are those Trix kids now?
They’re probably rich from hoarding all of the Trix. They were probably the same way with their money and possessions. They also probably spit in the faces of hobos that ask for money, Girl Scouts that sell cookies, and the Jehovah Witnesses that knock on their door.

The Trix Rabbit is on the box you’re denying him!
Bunny don't play dat!

1. Charlie Brown
“Good Grief!” — what child says this?

I’ve seen every Charlie Brown movie there is, and each one shows this guy has the worse of luck/circumstances and the flakiest of friends. It doesn’t help that he’s shy, lovestruck, and a pushover.

He was so disturbed and gullible he had to go to a fake psychiatrist.
Cmon Man!

Charlie didn’t have enemies, but he didn’t have any friends either. Linus is the only exception.

For instance, in Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!, they patronized him for his small Christmas tree. These kids weren’t raised with the real meaning of Christmas.

Singing Christmas Songs isn’t equivalent to an apology, kids.

Also in, It’s Your First Kiss, Charlie Brown, he’s blamed for the loss of a football game cause Lucy moved the football (again), even though she promised she wouldn’t. Lucy Van Pelt is one of the most hated characters in comic strip history.


Oh Family Guy….lol

Where’s Charlie Brown now?
I dunno, but it would worry me. I hope he found solace and decent friends.

Whew…got that out my system.

Any other characters?

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6 Comments

Posted by on December 6, 2010 in Random

 

6 responses to “Tribute to the 5 Most Sympathetic Cartoon Characters from My Childhood

  1. MichaelYoungHistory

    December 7, 2010 at 12:15 AM

    LMAO @ that comment about Roger hahahahaha!

    Connie aint losing that baby weight! I think the happy ending was for him and Pattie to get together! Did that never happen? (Note: I didnt watch that damned ABC version b/c i rebuke that shit…)

    ROTFL YOU KILLED ROADRUNNER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    That ginger video scared me bro…he hurt the cause…#rebuke

    “These kids werent raised with the real meaning of christmas”

    “I did some checking around, you’re not a licensed therapist!!!”

     
  2. The Big Socrates

    December 7, 2010 at 2:56 AM

    Lol at this list. Charlie Brown had the little red haired girl, though! And I think Charlie had more people that empathized with him than friends. I assumed Schroeder was a friend as well. MYH, I watched new Doug. The last episode does have them sort of together.

     
  3. Erica

    December 7, 2010 at 9:48 AM

    lol! The way you remember these storylines is unbelievable! How did you remember all these interesting back stories!?! haha. Doug was def a fav of mine. Poor little guy.

    LMAO @ Chuckie’s inferiority complex! HILARIOUS!

     
  4. stopitrightthere

    December 7, 2010 at 11:46 AM

    There is an episode where Wil E. did catch the roadrunner…however, the roadrunner was a giant and he was dwarflike lol. That was the only time he “caught” him but couldn’t do anything about it.

     
  5. TimiK

    December 7, 2010 at 3:53 PM

    I always had a soft spot for Chuckie Finster too! I think he has asthma too! That was a hard life.
    heheh good post 🙂

     
  6. Kris

    January 22, 2011 at 10:14 AM

    I know I’m late but this is Nice!! Too funny!

     

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