While reading Brandon Soderberg’s awesome analysis of Kanye’s track “Blame Game” I ran across this absolute gem of observance,
Chris Rock voices the average joe that will date Kanye’s much “improved” ex next. This is a very male way to view a break-up: “How did I permanently change this girl and who’s going to get the rewards of it now that I’m outta the picture?” A silly, masculine view of a relationship for sure, but one that most dudes, no matter how evolved or whatever, adopt at some emotional breaking point or another.
While I share the assertion that at some point every dude thinks this way when going through a break-up, I genuinely must ask is this a trait exclusive to guys?
It seems to me it is a more universal trait. I know that the majority of relationships that continue well past their expiration date tend to do so because both parties feel as if they have invested in and improved a person and, though they aren’t happy, they refuse to watch someone else gain from the fruit of their labor. While this assertion is never explicitly made it is obvious to any outside observer who has seen the relationship roller coaster from the outside looking in.
For those in the eye of the hurricane, search your feelings, you know it to be true. You can’t stand your “better half”. Y’all argue all the time, and probably aren’t even making that sweet sweet love anymore but the mere thought of them making that sweet…sweet love to someone else leaves you seeing red. Their jokes aren’t funny to you anymore but to hear someone else laughing when they make wisecracks leaves you in a torrent of jealousy and confusion. When someone compliments them on their shoes, or their dress, you think “I put them up on that” and you’ll be damned if another dude or chick sweeps in and receives everything that has lacked in your relationship.
It’s okay, you’re human. Realize the first rule of economics though, don’t cry over spilled milk. All the time, energy, and emotion you have devoted cannot be regained. Besides people aren’t tradeable commodities. No matter what you did for them you don’t own them. The best thing to do is actually break and move on because regardless of your efforts a doomed relationship will end, you can only control how it happens.