I’ve been struggling with blog topics because I told myself that I didn’t want my next entry to be about love and relationships. But after this incident, I knew I had to post.
It all started earlier this year. One evening, I was expecting a phone call. So, while in Bible Study, my phone rang, and I excused myself to pick it up. This phone call was far from what I was expecting. There was a young lady on the other end asking if I knew a certain guy. She proceeded to get upset when I told her she was calling the wrong person and that all question she had needed to be directed towards her alleged boyfriend. I just thought it wasn’t my place to discuss the status of her pseudo relationship. The real deal was I knew exactly who he was. This was the guy that had been promising me the world, but I knew he never could give it to me because of his troubles with dropping the “e” before adding “ing”; and she was indirectly informing me that during the course of our off and on casual dating, he had a girlfriend all along. I confronted him, and he told me that she was just a girl he was kicking it with… for four years. Yeah… I knew exactly what he was doing. He was telling her she was the only one while trying to make plans with me.
As mean as I am, I’m a sucker for second (and third and fourth and fifth) chances. No more than a few months later, he was back throwing out promises. I knew I wasn’t interested, but the free meals didn’t hurt! Plus, his fallout with the girl was facebook literature! Awhile later, as he tried to persuade me to be his future wife, things seemed all too familiar, so I decided to traveled to his facebook page to investigate. I didn’t have to dig far. Actually I didn’t have to dig at all. His recent update said it all. He was back in a relationship with the telephone bandit.
This rerun episode cause me to really wonder why do people cheat, and more specifically, why do people cheat in a nothing to lose, boyfriend/girlfriend relationship? Now, I understand there are situations where cheating is more logical than other options. I’m not saying I agree with them, but I understand the logic. For example, the man or woman who feels trapped in their marriage especially in Texas and California since they’re community property states. I could even give a small leeway to ONE unplanned one-night stand… very small leeway! But I don’t get the people who serially cheat on someone when all they have to do is break it off with them.
Why promise someone a commitment when you don’t want to be committed? What has that person done to you that you must continue to sell them false hopes and dreams about the future? Are you afraid the person is going to find someone better? If so, that selfishness is disturbing and inexcusable.
I recalled this poor girl angry on the phone with me because she knew she was going to be his wife. High hopes with low standards. SMH! The guy got upset with me because I told him that he should stop cheating because it seems like that girl really liked and was dedicated to him. He continued to deny the relationship. Either he’s a stupid liar, or he thinks that I’m the dumbest person on the planet.
“In a relationship” on facebook probably wouldn’t have meant as much if I never would have gotten that phone call, but I’m still trying to wrap my head around the legitimate reasons why he continues to pass out wolf tickets to a show that doesn’t exist. I never asked to be the other woman, and I would never want to disrespect someone else’s relationship. Plus, I feel like he’s disrespected me by unwilling putting me in this uncompromising situation.
From this experience, I have some questions:
1. What would you do if someone called you to confront you about dating his or her boyfriend/girlfriend?
2. Can you tell when someone’s cheating on you?
3. Would you call a suspicious number you found in your significant other’s phone?
4. How much weight does a facebook relationship have?
5. Have you ever cheated? If so, why?