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The “Every Female Basketball Player is gay, ugly, masculine, tall and aggressive” Myth…

11 Jan

I’m a former collegiate women’s basketball player.

Immediately upon hearing this most people subconsciously determine that I  am gay, ugly, masculine and over six feet tall… and my raspy voice only gives them more reason to believe I dig chicks! However, in actuality I am VERY straight (that means that I’ve never experimented on a road trip or much less had the desire to), I’m attractive, girly, and the shortest basketball player in UT Women’s Basketball history standing at only 5’3… and that’s on a good day.

When the stereotype-rs (new word?) finally meet me in person they usually pause and say something like “Wow you’re so feminine” or “I never would have thought that YOU played basketball” or my favorite “you’re cute for a basketball player.”  I usually give my best fake smile/thank you combo, but on most occasions I walk away offended.

So in honor of VSB & in response to the thread questions I would like to officially annihilate the “Every female Basketball player is gay, ugly, masculine, & tall” Myth … *breathes hard like Beyonce (SL video)* There are lots of stereotypes that keep this myth alive… I’ve taken some time to break down a few of them.

Disclaimer: I am by NO means a homophobe, I have gay friends… (whites say it, why can’t I?). In fact I am more discriminatory toward heterosexual people who screw any and everything… carry on.

1.)Only Female Basketball players are gay right?!

WROOOONG… I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news  but  I happen to know more than a handful of Track Runners , Volley Ball players, swimmers etc  who  eat a lot of *food at fancy restaurants* and date girls. I know it’s hard for the male ego to even imagine that cute sophomore sprinter (whose built like a stallion) getting it in with the pretty freshman Volley Ball player (with the long legs)…well maybe not *pervs*… but that’s beside’s the point… the point is that the Lesbian epidemic (yeah I said it EPIDEMIC) is not a women’s basketball thing, it has affected female athletics as a whole… no sport is immune.

2.) Female Ball Players are ugly and date other Ugly girls

As much as it pains me to say this (I’m selling out), I have to admit that 80% of the female ball players I know ARE Lesbian, masculine, and are not the most attractive girls… but there is another 20% of us who don’t fit that description.

The irony is that the 80%s have the most beautiful girlfriends. The women my teammates date/turned-out could have easily been with the Pooch Halls of UT Football *oops* I forgot there weren’t any Pooch Halls at UT #Fail. When asked why any woman would want to trade in their heterosexuality (Yeah I said it TRADE IN) and forgo the scrumptious-ness  that is man they usually laughed and said “Don’t knock it till you try it” my reply “I didn’t knock it, Jesus did.”

SN: You would think that with all the Lesbian women populating the earth there would be more options for those of us who can appreciate a man with  a big *heart*

3.) Butch Ball players intimidate girly Ball players

Chiiiiile pleeeze…

“I’m a ball player…” ~ Monica Love & basketball

That means that when I stepped on the court my mindset was that anyone could get the bizness… didn’t matter if you were girly, butch, tall, short, white or black… who cared?!  It was usually the hyper-masculine ones who were trying to compensate for a lack of skill… wearing all that extra equipment and crap (wrist bands, head bands, & arm sleeves, tats). The only time I’ve ever been intimated on the court was when I knew flat out that the person I was guarding was a much faster, stronger, and just an overall better ball player than me. This holds  true for  many female ball players.

SN: I had so many dudes try and holla after “Love & basketball” came out… too bad they were only on JV… it never would’ve worked.

4.) Female Basketball Players are aggressive both on and off the court

Not true.

When I step on the court I change. It’s something about putting on a sports bra, a beater, baggy shorts, and my Huaraches that cause me to walk extra bow legged and on my tip toes Lol. I feel like I’m  that thirteen year old tom-boy again… no make-up or lip gloss just me & Spalding. My mannerisms change, I become more aggressive, I’m loud, I’m arrogant … and sometimes I slip up and cuss niggas out!  However when I go home shower and get dressed I don’t pull out another beater a pair of shorts and head out the door, there are some of us who prefer to wear a boyfriend blazer, jeggings, & a nice pair of pumps. I turn off my competive edge and become the fun loving girl that most people know me to be!

SN: Although Brittney Griner is a grown man & will break your nose when provoked  (see here) word on the street is that she really is a sweet girl off the court. According to my sources she’s very shy & soft spoken… nothing like what most would imagine her to be.

5.) Candice Parker’s Baby Hairs are real

Those baby hairs have been a thorn in my side since the day I met her.

Candice visited UT my junior year in college.  I wasn’t her host (a current player who shows her around campus etc) however we clicked and spent a lot of time together.  Back then she had about *snaps* much hair that she insisted on squeezing into a ponytail that had zero hang time….  But majority of it was slicked down into those god awful baby hairs. I can admit that I like many of us (ladies) am guilty of owning and traveling with that disgusting toothbrush that was usually filled with a combination of gunk, gel, pump it up & J.A.M from three weeks before… but I NEVER used mine to sculpt baby hairs. It saddens me to think that her daughter may grow up to look like her father and/or be inspired to rock her mom’s signature baby hairs.

Oh and FTR they are NOT real

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8 Comments

Posted by on January 11, 2011 in Sex, Sports

 

8 responses to “The “Every Female Basketball Player is gay, ugly, masculine, tall and aggressive” Myth…

  1. MYH

    January 11, 2011 at 4:58 PM

    LMFAO! His name is out there in ALL CAPS!!!

    Shortest in UT history? Word? Hahahah, nice

    80%!! that’s a high number!

    WOW! #SHOTSFIRED at my wifeCandace! HAHAHAHH

     
  2. justinfication

    January 11, 2011 at 5:26 PM

    Well, I learned something.

    LOL @ Sweet girl vs. Aggressive girl matchups. Sweet girls ain’t scared huh?!

    @Baby Hair….. Shut the front door #bluemagic

    So what about athletes going for athletes?

     
  3. pat083

    January 11, 2011 at 9:50 PM

    Just catching up with you all on this one. It looks interesting.

     
  4. Justin

    June 17, 2012 at 1:30 PM

    My (male)friend married one and he doesn’t even know she’s a Lesbian. She thinks Jesus will cure her of her Lesbian tendencies. Sad!

     
  5. Randy

    April 8, 2013 at 12:29 PM

    You are really are cute, Briana.

     

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