“In The Morning:” The Top Ten Breakfast Cereals of All Time

20 Jan

Hey thREADERS! I know I express the sentiments of a good number of you by saying I LOVE cereal. In fact, while I was in college, me and some of the other threaders had a “Cereal Night” (no joke) where everyone brought their favorite cereals. It was great, but it also made me realize something about myself that I should put out there now;

I judge people based on their cereal preferences…

It’s true. What cereal someone eats can tell you alot about a person. For example, if you eat Grape Nuts, I know that you probably think you are better than me as you eat that fiber-filled crap that tastes like…well…crap. Also, if you grew up on ANY of the following cereals, you probably had a bad childhood:

  • Grape Nuts (Yuck!!!)
  • Frosted Flakes and/or Fruit Loops (These cereals arent awful per se, but there is DEFINITELY a reason why these cereals are ALWAYS on sale and they come in boxes the size of your kitchen table. Also, if you put sugar on Frosted Flakes, i’m pretty sure you’ll have diabetes…)
  • Raisin Bran (Milk + Raisins? Gross)
  • Cream of Wheat (See below)
  • Cheerios, Corn Flakes, Pops, etc. (Rule of Thumb: If you have to put sugar on it, its gross)
  • Any cereal that comes in a bag (JUDGED!)
  • King Vitaman (I can do nothing but laugh)

Ok…Now that we got that out of the way, lets get to the GOOD cereals that you won’t be judged for. Me and my girlfriend argued for hours to come up with this list, so here it goes! If we left your personal favorite off the list (or clowned your personal favorite above) leave comments!

10: Golden Grahams

Should be ranked alot higher, but they get soggy entirely too fast...nothing worse than soggy cereal. NOTHING.

#9: Cocoa Puffs

The bird is kind of a coon, but y'all know you love that chocolate milk at the end...

#8: Honey Nut Cheerios

Lowers cholesterol AND tastes great...

#7: Apple Jacks

Solid cereal. Also takes about 30 years for them to get soggy. Yum.

#6: Reese’s Puffs

Note: Cap'n Crunch's Peanut Butter cereal is also good, but Reese's is better. A cereal that tastes like a Reese cup was a surefire idea.

#5: (Honey Graham) Oh’s

Cheap and amazing. Love this cereal. Delicious.

#4: Waffle Crisp

This cereal tastes EXACTLY like waffles with syrup. Mouth watering...

#3: Fruity Pebbles

Ok, so they get soggy fast. They STILL crack the top 3! Thats how good they are! Thanks Mr. Flintstone.

#2: Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries

Its not just the crunch berries that make it amazing; It's also the treasure chests. Nobody dislikes this cereal, even if it does cut the roof of your mouth (See below).

Doesn't hurt that the greatest superhero of all time is named after this cereal. MINTBERRY CRUNCH!!!!

#1: Cinnamon Toast Crunch

G.O.A.T. Nuff' said. They are great with or without milk, and would even taste good with water (c) Craig in Friday

What’d we miss?

“I do this for my culture”

-MichaelYoungHistory (with the help of Proudee)


Posted by on January 20, 2011 in Food, Uncategorized



30 responses to ““In The Morning:” The Top Ten Breakfast Cereals of All Time

  1. justinfication

    January 20, 2011 at 4:06 PM

    “I do this for my culture!” that’s your tagline now. #soyoufancy

    Um. Let me give a shout out to the most judged cereal of all time!

    Also, a raisin is derived from a fruit. Fruit & milk is fine.

    How you gunna call out Cream of wheat! Don’t put it on the “uncle” image-That a respectable looking black chef. That’s just not american? Do you hate apple pie too?

    • MichaelYoungHistory

      January 20, 2011 at 4:14 PM

      lol I love Apple Pie!

      Also, re: Raisin Bran: Its for old people bro! Plus, raisins and milk?!?! I wasnt raised on that!

    • MichaelYoungHistory

      January 20, 2011 at 5:15 PM

      Also, here is my take on Raison Bran:

  2. justinfication

    January 20, 2011 at 4:17 PM

    Grape Nuts is for older people who have to watch their sugar level. Raisin Bran has more Sugar than Fruit Loops!

  3. justinfication

    January 20, 2011 at 4:18 PM

    I know you’re not telling me Raisin Bran & Grape Nuts are on the same level.

    MYH's Favorite Cereal

    You probably ate Smackers – the nastiest cereal meant for kids.

    • MichaelYoungHistory

      January 20, 2011 at 4:47 PM

      Smacks, not Smackers, and its not on my list! Smackers is jelly i think.

      • stopitrightthere

        January 21, 2011 at 8:53 AM

        you mean SmUckers…jerk lol

  4. justinfication

    January 20, 2011 at 4:28 PM

    Just to digress, I enjoy alot of things with black images.

    Uncle Ben’s instant rice

    mmm mm good
    Aunt Jemima..before and after her perm/makeover….

    Good 'head then, Jemima!

    Stubbs Barbecue Sauce.

    I use to have an issue with all this, but improvements have been made, and it’s just food. I’m not offended. I embrace the fact that my culture can cook.

    What about the NBA logo?

    He can't jump though
    It respresents the silouette of Jerry West, which folks considered the “perfect basketball player”. Oh how that’s changed.

    • MichaelYoungHistory

      January 20, 2011 at 4:48 PM


      • The King's Law

        January 20, 2011 at 5:06 PM


        HowTF do you rank Golden Grahams Lower than Fruity Pebbles when FP get soggier 4x faster and they don’t even taste that good? #FAIL

        Also… I’m so appalled [Spalding Ball]….

        How do you completely leave out Frosted Flakes… it’s amongst the Pantheon of commercially produced cereal. Every other corn based flake cereal WANTS to be FF, and want’s a mascot as tight as Tony.

        This shit right here, my nigga... is GRRR-EEEAAAT

        • MichaelYoungHistory

          January 20, 2011 at 5:13 PM

          Its like I said. Frosted Flakes are fine. They are good, but not GRREEEATTT (NPI). I know most kids used to put sugar on them. That means they werent good enough for them as is.

          As far as GG vs. FP, I think they get soggy at about the same time, which means GG gets soggy faster b/c they are like 5X the size of a fruity pebble. Also, GG are good, but taste wise they aint messin with FP.

        • Typo-Critical

          January 20, 2011 at 5:28 PM

          This is quite possibly the most biased comment ever in life.

          “Every other corn based flake cereal… wants a mascot as tight as Tony.” Yeah, if there was a cereal named after me, I’d be a huge fan too, but nobody (not even me) would eat Whole Wheat Criticals. lol

  5. Proud

    January 20, 2011 at 4:49 PM

    I do not endorse crunch berries, fruity pebbles, or waffle crisp being that high.

    • justinfication

      January 20, 2011 at 10:50 PM

      lol..thank you for that clarification @Proud. You would have been judged.

  6. Typo-Critical

    January 20, 2011 at 5:25 PM

    I agree with Proud that Waffle Crisp and Fruity Pebbles had absolutely NO business breaking Top 3.

    Who judges people based on bag cereal? That’s that “bougie” ness. You’re probably the type to discriminate against milk, too, taking Promised Land over Schepps…

    Taste-wise, Golden Grahams by far top Fruity Pebbles. By far. I would swap the two, though, because Fruity Pebbles still break my top 10. Cinnamon Toast Crunch at #1, I respect.

    • MichaelYoungHistory

      January 20, 2011 at 5:29 PM

      LOL I’m not bougie about milk!!! As long as its 2% and not going bad…

  7. utpipeline

    January 20, 2011 at 5:26 PM


    • The King's Law

      January 20, 2011 at 5:27 PM

      @utpipeline eats malt-o-meal…

      *snickers to myself*

      • Typo-Critical

        January 20, 2011 at 5:29 PM

        If you’ve never had a bowl of Fruity Toasty O’s, then you don’t know The Struggle!

        • MichaelYoungHistory

          January 20, 2011 at 5:31 PM

          I tried the bag version of CTC once. Never again will I eat bag cereal. That shit was about 3X as thick as CTC and tasted like cardboard. I’ll just go hungry. Or make me some grits…

    • MichaelYoungHistory

      January 20, 2011 at 5:30 PM

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA #Bag(Cereal)Lady

      • The King's Law

        January 20, 2011 at 5:31 PM

        Rice Krispies… Crisped Rice…

        To-may-to/To-maw-to??? not really…

        • Typo-Critical

          January 20, 2011 at 5:35 PM

          lol. Y’all chose the worst ones. Crisped Rice and… I don’t remember what the off-brand CTC was. Fruit Toasty O’s were the best bag cereal, though. God forbid those punk-ass Marshmallow Mateys, though… didn’t know whether they wanted to be Captain Crunch or Lucky Charms, but clearly failed at living up to either.

  8. Kamaal Fareed

    January 20, 2011 at 5:38 PM

    Lol, you trippin with this Fruity Pebbles business. You love that fruity shit.

    • MichaelYoungHistory

      January 20, 2011 at 5:39 PM

      LMAO CMON!!! #Pause

    • MYH

      January 22, 2011 at 10:52 AM

      FTW RT @MURS: I wanna got to Zachary’s for breakfast but its in Santa Cruz …. So fruity pebbles

  9. primemeridian11

    January 20, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    You’re absolutely crazy about Frosted Flakes!! And how the hell did you leave out Sugar Bears?? Well, I mean Golden Crisp. I have always called them Sugar Bears. They got me to where I am today…couldn’t have made it without them.

  10. YouHeardItHereFirst

    January 20, 2011 at 9:09 PM

    I don’t think I have that cereal culture 😦
    I grew up on Granola (with raisins), and I loved it! So I have to say that raisins + milk = a great combo and I got ur back Justinfication!

    Also… noticeably absent is the cereal my parents let me get when I was all granola’ed out: Kix!
    Kid tested-Mother approved! C’mon… kix went hard.

  11. Kerisha

    January 22, 2011 at 11:39 AM


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