“I can’t find a good man”
I detest these words with a passion. Whenever I hear a grown woman complain about her potential mates I punch a small woodland creature in my mind. I understand that there are millions of “jerks” and “dogs” in the world, I also understand that women are often approached in a way that is totally inappropriate but what I don’t understand is how these facts translate into you not being able to find a good man. Let’s look at this logically.
Oftentimes we are acutely aware of how flagrantly out of line men are. We are often told of how men all cheat, or they all lie, or they’re all afraid of commitment and for certain segments of the population this is undoubtedly true but the scope is overstated. You see the mean who cheat, lie, and refuse to wife you up receive an inordinate amount of attention because for the most part these are the men who have been deemed desirable. When a woman says “I can’t find a good man” they mean “I can’t find a good man…that I want to be with”, of course this is also true of guys who always complain about how “nice guys finish last” no “nice guys finish last…with the bad girls they want” if people opened their eyes and honestly evaluated the people around them we’d have less complaints between the genders. This truth is universal.
What isn’t however is that a lot of women who bemoan their lack of dating options do so while making no active effort whatsoever to find a good mate. For example, Friend A is an attractive young woman with a lot going for her. She goes on dates and would work to support a relationship. Her dates however all end in disaster, the men are interested in one thing or are uninteresting all together. Friend A laments her predicament of “not finding a man who is about anything” at which point I inquire, “well where have you been looking?”. The answer is ” I don’t look its the man’s job to ask for a date”. Here, right here, is where I quit. If you as a woman refuse to take the initiative when finding a mate, which is totally within your rights, then I feel you shouldn’t complain about not finding the “right” man. It is the year 2011 and women have the right to vote, earn as much money as men, and tell them how they look better doing it. So why is it that when it comes to dating some people revert back to tradition and “proper” gender roles?
If I wanted a job but I refused to ask about openings, wouldn’t you conclude that I don’t really want that job at all?
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