Never Say Never

31 Jan

Have you ever found yourself in a dilemma that you never thought you would be in? At that point, you held truth to the saying “Never Say Never”. As you play that situation out again in your mind, find comfort that we’ve all been that same place. So, as an adult, I cannot wrap my head around the idea of someone else telling me how I should feel when making a decision about my life and the life of my “future child”.

Abortion is one of the most controversial political and social issues of modern day. Something many people (men and women) stand firmly and state that they would never even ponder the idea. This post isn’t going to rattle off facts. It’s going to make the “issue” of abortion real… from the eyes of a woman.

As I was driving to work last week, I heard on the radio a report state that the Texas Legislator is rushing an emergency piece of legislation through requiring doctors to mandate an ultrasound to every patient before [she] has an abortion. When I heard that, my emotions went all over the place. First, I gasped. Then, I laughed. My laughter turned into anger. My anger then transformed back into laughter- a laughter of disbelief. Most voting probably never have been/ will be in this woman’s shoes. As if the decision was one of malice judgment. As if the decision came quick and thoughtless. I cannot believe that any woman would light-heartedly choose to get an abortion, so for people to treat any woman who builds up the audacity — and I use that term loosely— to make this decision are insensitive and frankly rude.

I cannot speak on behalf of the women whom have had abortions because I, myself, have never been pregnant, so I haven’t had to deal with the situation hands on. But, allow me to be candid, as a sexually active female, I can admit to having a pregnancy scare. Did an abortion cross my mind? Honestly, yes. But at the end of the day, it will always be my choice.

I may not have experienced an abortion, but there are people close to me who have. Before the pro life groups started giving out empty promises and false information (It’s very ironic how a pro life group can kill a doctor that gives abortions. I’m just saying), know that before and after a woman has an abortion, it’s anything but malice or mundane. The decision process affects everyone that knows. A solemn feeling grows as each individual has the opportunity to way the options, but everyone has to face the reality that at the end of the day, their opinion only holds as much weight as the amount of responsibility he or she will have for that child. After the decision is made, besides the physical, there are many mental dilemmas that never cease. The could haves. The should haves, and the would haves never go away. And even years later, your actions reflect that abortion.

I have a close friend that had an abortion at an early age. Even when we were teenagers, I could see the regret and longing in her eyes as we passed up just an unknown newborn baby. So, even though it wasn’t practical, she got pregnant trying to fill the void. Will this be every woman’s dilemma? No. We all as humans deal with experience differently.

BUT IT’S MURDER! If you had the choice of a slow and painful death or a quick one, which would you choose? The slow and painful death is what the government is prescribing to many of these unborn children. How? The irony of a state government wanting to keep a baby that it refuses to educate. Why not rush into legislation about education reform as districts left and right cut teachers? Why not call to question the money Rick Perry denied from Obama for education because there were strings attached. Now we have a string of under educated students with no money attached. At least this woman considering abortion knows she probably doesn’t have the capability to have a child whether it’s financial, emotional, or a mixture of both. What about adoption? Have we seen the foster care system? It’s over crowded, underfunded, and messy.

Am I saying kill all the babies that won’t be born into the world with a silver spoon in their mouths? No, but we can’t put our number one priority into bringing babies into a world that starts off against them. State government, what are you going to do once the baby gets here? What are you doing for the babies that are already here? Don’t worry. You don’t have to conjure up an answer that dances around the facts because the truth is you are doing something. You’re working to make the poor even poorer. You’re working to make the uneducated even less interested in education with your infinite mandated test and budget cuts of need programs and even basic needs like textbooks. So before you waste time with your emergency legislation, think about the real emergencies the people already living have.

And to you, thREADERS, before your thoughts form to say you would never, hear this: Maya Angelou, one of the great orators of our times, said on her Oprah Masters Class “ I am a human being, nothing human can be alien to me.” And she went further to describe that if a human has done something, this means that any human has the capacity to do it as well. “Nothing human can be alien to me… nothing…” I will not tell you to put yourself in the shoes of a woman that just got laid off her job or raped. I just ask you, thREADERS, no to be so careless in your stance with judgmental critiques on character and morality. Do not underestimate the thought process of a woman who has an abortion. The truth is we’re all capable of making the decision to have an abortion, but it’s our experiences and situations that lead us to our decision, so never say never.


Posted by on January 31, 2011 in Government, Philosophy


9 responses to “Never Say Never

  1. justinfication

    February 1, 2011 at 8:39 AM

    Where does one’s faith lie in that?

    Without [the message of John 3:16], I have to believe that I’m susceptible to anything. Which of course is a reoccuring biblical theme. ‘Leave the favor/presence of God, and you can be tempted to do anything’. And on the other side of that, WITH God, we are encouraged that we could achieve anything [Phil 4:13] that’s in His will. And it is His will that we do not sin.

    [And I do see a conventional abortion as sin, but as it seems you did, I will relate this to the general topic of sin]

    It’s that very realization of how weak we are to compromise that should lead us to rely on The Higher Power. Otherwise, ‘being human’ could be an excuse for alot of situations.

    In terms of judging others on the matter, that’s the usual lesson of love, and reminds me of the quote,

    “Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle.”

    Realizing that we are all human, and will make mistakes, is essential towards understanding AND loving each other, but I don’t it should be used as a gauge to identify what’s right or wrong. [Not to say that you’re inferring such]

    “Never” is a great empowering word when used appropriately. If one just says that in terms of oneself and their mere ‘human will’, there are likely naive and will very likely fail. If one says “never” in the context of leaning on the everlasting arms, then I have no way of discrediting their use of the word.

    • utpipeline

      February 1, 2011 at 9:01 AM

      Apart of being a Christian is knowing our strengths and weaknesses. It is easy to sit back and say, “I will never be in that dilemma because I will just trust God”. Once we say never, many times we walk into a situation blindly not relying on the strength of God. In reality, it doesn’t happen that way. Never did I excuse abortion. I gave attention to the thought process women may have and have had when making their decision. It is after we have counselled with God that we may reach the decision of not terminating the pregnancy. I can discredit “never” because that’s when the thought process becomes one of pride and unrealistic abilities. The only way I can ever accept never is “with the help of the Lord, I HAVE never…”. When you say “I will never”, you step off the battle field and become a target for satan… because he is real.

      I never used “being human” as an excuse. You are taking it out of context. I said “being human” gives us the capacity to do anything a human can do. We ALL have the cognizant ABILITY and capacity to have an abortion. And quoted from my last paragraph “but it’s our experiences and situations that lead us to our decision…”

  2. justinfication

    February 1, 2011 at 10:37 AM

    The following is a comment/opinion on an idea alluded to in the above post. The following comment isn’t intended to accentuate or degrate the idea/discussion. The following comment can be taken as just a comment:

    I don’t think that all decisions are made from one’s experiences and situation. Convictions can lead to decisions too. Either can result in a “bad result”.

    I wonder if someone has ever said ‘I will never say, ‘I will’ again ‘.

    Yes I agree. We all have the ability to do alot of things. Novel.


  3. tavalava

    February 1, 2011 at 12:51 PM

    I remember hearing about that piece of legislation sometime last year, and I will say that I don’t have a problem with it. The way I interpreted it was that while they might do an ultrasound, you are not required to look at it or listen to it. I have never had an abortion so if I were in that position I don’t know how I would feel about it, but that’s my opinion on the matter as of now.

    The idea of Never Say Never (Everytime I see that I think of that Bieber kids movie. Yuck) is a really intriguing one. I know that over the years my thoughts of abortion have changed. I’ve always been pro-choice but my thoughts on whether or not I would have an abortion would change. I remember having conversations with my close girlfriends in undergrad and saying that if either of us got pregnant then we would be each other’s person and support group. Having a child was not an option. I wasn’t mature enough, didn’t have any source of income to support a child, but more importantly I could never bring that kind of shame on my parents. That was my biggest reason.

    Now if I were to find myself in a situation, I think the decision would be much more difficult. I don’t think I would have the abortion now. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I’m more able to support myself now then I was several years ago.

    However, I do understand that requiring ultrasounds could start a slippery slope in making abortions illegal. I also agree on your stance with our foster system. It seems as though before, if a woman were to get pregnant, she could take the “moral” high ground and give her baby up for adoption. Unless you are able to select the family that your child goes to, it almost seems as though you are doing more harm than good.

    Those are just my thoughts.

    • justinfication

      February 1, 2011 at 12:56 PM

      @tavalava This post isn’t about ultrasounds…you’re taking it out of context. lol

      • tavalava

        February 1, 2011 at 1:07 PM

        @Justinfication, I’m aware that the post is not all about the ultrasound. However that was a point that was brought up that I decided to comment on. The point that I was trying to make, which obviously I did not was the idea not saying “never”. I was using the example given about the ultrasound to say that for me when I first heard about it, it did not seem like an issue to me, and that I don’t see anything wrong with women having to undergo that. BUT, I have never been in a situation that would cause me to go through such scenario, yet if I did, I’m sure that my thoughts on the issue would change. Because as soon as you say that you would never do something or that you won’t find yourself in a certain situation or making certain mistakes. Often times you find yourself in that certain situation.

    • primemeridian11

      February 1, 2011 at 3:22 PM

      I have a huge freakin problem with the legislation. One of them being the timing seeing as how Texas is in the biggest deficit ever and we are cutting healthcare. Requiring a sonogram is simply not an emergency that should be taking up the legislatures time right now. Furthermore, aside from the fact that it is an extremely cruel and insensitive way of foisting your ideology on someone, it is not practical. Who is going to pay for the ultrasound? I know Ricky P won’t be subsidizing doctors to give them for free or at a discount. That would too hypocritical. Then again, he might.

  4. justinfication

    February 1, 2011 at 1:10 PM

    Yeah, I get ‘cha

  5. primemeridian11

    February 1, 2011 at 3:29 PM

    I’m a Christian. I have never had an abortion and never plan to. I’m also pro-choice. I thought choice started with Adam and Eve. As much as our reliance on God for strength to deny ourselves and live sin free is a theme in the Bible, so is choice. It is a choice to rely on Him and it is not for me to judge if someone acts in their own strength apart from Him. It is my duty to love them through it though.

    Completely unrelated rant:
    It disturbs me greatly to hear so many Christians hang their hats on this issue and vote based on this single issue. The truth is that Bush was in office for 8 years and abortion is still legal, so a conservative vote isn’t necessarily going to outlaw it.


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