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How Much is Your Life Worth? Apparently, $1,500.

07 Jun

So I’m back working in retail after being out of it and into the unemployment game for a year and a half. It feels nice to not only have a job, but a job you enjoy. Well at this new job, there has been some serious messiness that has just taken place and I figured…why not share it with all you guys? So I’ve got this coworker who helped us out for our store inventory a few weeks ago. We’ll call him…Steve. Now, Steve seemed like a cool enough dude. He works as the assistant manager of our north store. Well, our Tampa (not really) location needed someone to fill in as a temporary manager while one was molded to take over for them. Steve was asked to take that filler role for the temporary period. So the company flew him out there and he got settled and everything seemed well and good. Then last week happened….

We had 3 deposits sitting around last week because banks aren’t open on Sundays and weren’t open because of the holiday on Monday. The story goes that Steve went to go let the UPS guy in to deliver packages on Tuesday and it was at this moment that 2 masked men entered the store and told Steve to give them the deposits. Steve did as he was told and was promptly nailed in the back of the head with a pipe. Steve got a concussion and when he woke up called the police and was taken to the hospital to get checked up on. Story seems over, right? WRONG! A few days pass and the police call Steve back in to finish questioning him and to start working on the case. It would be during this interview that Steve would confess to actually being the guy who orchestrated the whole robbery. That’s right folks, it was an inside job. So Steve filed a fraudulent police report and then there’s the little thing of the flubbed robbery! Needless to say, Steve is no longer working with the company and is currently awaiting his charges. So…you might’ve caught on by now to how much he would’ve gotten away with… That’s right Thread peeps, Mr. Steve has absolutely fucked up his life for (drum roll) $1,500 bucks. Not $15,000. $1,500.

So looking back at the story as told to me by my manager, the first question I had was what exactly happened in that 2nd interview that cracked this guy? Another question was…well, what the hell happened to the UPS guy? No answer to that one. The obvious part of the story that Steve couldn’t get around was the fact that unless you work retail, would you have known that there would be that many deposits in the first place. The other thing was is that every morning, when we open, we’re supposed to go to the bank first and foremost and that’s before the UPS guy could even get there so there were definitely a few holes in the story. Let’s get back to this amount. Really though, $1,500? WTF can you do with that? That barely pays most people’s rent for 2 months. I told MichaelYoungHistory that this isn’t the 1800’s, that amount of money can get you down the street at best. I’m not going to do life/freedom ending dumb shit for anything less than $100,000. That’s my starting price, and even that is too low. So kids, I close with this…. If anyone ever asks you how much your life is possibly worth, you simply respond, about $1,500 dollars.

-TheBigSocrates

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2 Comments

Posted by on June 7, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

2 responses to “How Much is Your Life Worth? Apparently, $1,500.

  1. MYH

    June 7, 2011 at 7:22 AM

    Smh #recession

     
  2. fnasty

    June 13, 2011 at 9:02 PM

    “Freedom cost a buck o’ five” – Team America

     

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