Fornicating vs. Shacking: What’s the Difference?

Shack (also: shack up, shacked up, shacking) – To live with a partner in sexual intimacy without being married.

I have quite a few friends who are either shacking, have shacked, or soon will be shacking with their significant others.  When I was growing up, shacking was always looked down on mostly because of religious reasons.  I can only speak from my standpoint, but my parents told me not to shack more than they told me not to have sex.  I respected that, but now that I’ve gotten older and done more research, the line between sex and shacking has become much more blurry.

I can’t emphasize enough that I am not judging or making indictments against anyone.  Believe me, I have no room or right to judge because I struggle with my own demons.  Now that that’s out of the way, let’s have a real discussion about this. Religiously speaking, God frowns on sex outside of marriage.  Whether it’s fornication or adultery, the Bible is very clear about this.  The more I’ve read and researched, though, the Bible doesn’t specifically say anything about living with a girlfriend/boyfriend/fiancé//fiancée.  Shacking isn’t a recent phenomenon, but it has certainly become much more accepted by society over recent years.  People who quote the Bible (or misquote it) seem to equate shacking to fornication.  They’re not wrong for that notion because let’s face it; the vast majority of couples living together are sleeping together, but why does shacking seem to trump sex?  Why do so many people treat shacking like it is the cardinal sin?

What I’ve come to realize is that there is no difference between those who shack and those who fornicate.  Those who are “just” fornicating are doing the same thing as those fornicating and shacking from a Christian standpoint.  The shackers are just more frugal (paying for one household is better than paying for two, right?). Like I said, I’m not here to judge or determine what’s wrong or right, but it seems like there’s some kind of hierarchy of wrongdoing and shacking is near the top of that list.

Personally, I’m not a fan of living with someone I’m dating because it’s hard enough just to date.  Living with a person opens up a new can of worms.  I know people want to test drive a car before they buy it, sample the milk before putting a down payment on the cow, or see if they are compatible with their partner before exchanging those vows, but it’s just not my thing.  I understand the logic behind it, but it’s just not for me.  I’m not ready to be married yet, so the mere thought of playing house freaks me out.  As far as marriage is concerned, when I do find a woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, I will be more willing to share everything and make “my” “ours” after we jump over the broom.  I’m not at that point right now.

I’m somewhat young, childless, and single, though.  What about an unwed couple who already has a child or children?  Should they not shack because it is wrong to fornicate?  Too late.  Obviously, the easy answer would be for them to get married, but I don’t think marriage is something that should be rushed.  In the interest of the child or children, though, if the couple has a healthy relationship, wouldn’t shacking be best for the child?

Maybe I’m trippin’.  Maybe I’m just ignorant since I haven’t come across anyone I’d be willing to give up half my living space for.  Maybe my parents are the only ones who stressed for me not to shack up or have a “live-in girlfriend”.  If I were keeping score from home, it would look something like: Don’t Shack Up- 953 / Don’t Get Your Ears Pierced- 541 / Don’t get tattoos- 630 /  Wait Until Marriage to Have Sex- 82. Oops. Well, at least I listened to a few things one thing they said.

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